Diary of a Girl Geek

Woohoo!

2008-11-14T14:21:00.002+11:00

I got my first mark of the year back today. 65, get in! That's a solid 2:1, or an H2A for all you Aussie fact fans out there.

Now to just keep the standard up all year. Which probably means making a proper start on my dissertation, and not just typing up the bibliography... Though I tried re-reading The Last Battle the other day and nearly vomited.

"In our world too, a Stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world."

Bleuuuuurgh. He'd really lost any sense of subtlety by book 7, hadn't he? And I'm only just starting to comprehend what a somewhat twisted ending it is to a series to kill off all your characters and send them to heaven. Except Susan of course, because she's too interested in boys, and therefore going to burn in hell for all eternity. Or something. Because it's not like losing her entire family in a train crash is going to make her lose any of her remaining faith in humanity.

Off to Newcastle tomorrow for a weekend of much drinking and geekery. Can't bloody wait!

Top 10 places I want to visit:

2008-11-12T05:17:00.006+11:00

Croatia:

Czech Republic:

Egypt:

Fiji:

France:

Iceland:

Indonesia:

New Zealand:

South Africa:

Slovenia:

Hoping to hit most (if not all) of the European ones next summer. In the early stages of planning my very own Grand Tour.

ENFP

2008-11-08T18:29:00.003+11:00

On the whole, disconcertingly accurate. The bits in bold are my favourite:

General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.

Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (lots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world. [aka, bossy as fuck - Erykah]

Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.

Taken from here.
Test here.

"Zany charm" - I like it. And according to Wikipedia (the fountain of all knowledge, my personality type is "The Champion", excellent!

wonder if "But I'm an ENFP, I can't help procrastinating!" would work on my lecturers at all...?

How about you guys?

Love's Labour's Lost

2008-11-07T18:43:00.003+11:00

I just booked a ticket to Love's Labour's Lost! Sadly not the RSC version up in Stratford, but instead one in Kingston that looks to be an interesting experience - I'll be sitting on a cushion in the pit!

Hoping to get round to phoning the RSC soon and trying to grab some of their wonderful £5 tickets for 16-25 year olds. With any luck will be seeing A Midsummer Night's Dream (again, but I loved the direction for Hamlet and want to see how Doran handles Midsummer), The Taming of the Shrew and hopefully The Tempest when it comes on tour to Richmond. Add to that Othello (a course requirement!) in Hammersmith next week, and plans to see Twelfth Night (yes, another I've already seen, but with Derek Jacobi as Malvolio I can't say no), and it's a happily Shakespearean few months ahead.

In other theatre news, I've also booked to see Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan take on Waiting for Godot next year. Can't wait!

Meme

2008-11-04T06:51:00.008+11:00

Stolen from Anita:

Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation.

1. The age you’ll be on your next birthday:

2. A place you’d like to travel to:

3. Your favourite place:

4. Your favourite food:

5. Your favourite animal:

6. Your favourite color:

7. Your favourite piece of clothing:

Nothing beats a duvet day

8. Your favourite song:

9. Your favourite tv show:

10. First name of your significant other / crush:

11. The town in which you live in:

12. Your first job:

13. Your dream job:

14. A bad habit you have:

15. Your worst fear:

Even googling that pic made my eyes well up. Aargh.

16. The one thing you’d like to do before you die:

17. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000:

Woodstock

2008-10-21T06:36:00.004+11:00

I want:

This is genius

2008-09-29T22:19:00.002+10:00

Thanks to Rob's Amazing Poem Generator

Diary of Sakuntala – William Faulkner The King &#Lear
8211; Honore de Bernieres 20. It’
t 8211; Juan Rulfo Pippi Longstocking &#
8211; Jonathan Swift Gypsy
Ballads – Yasunari Kawabata The Great Wall of
Asia to go to explain,
but I/ve
got to read ;
good comedy 8211;
Jane Austen 3. Simon Guerrier, The boxes
from The Tempest Timon of the man who you
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54.

Very post-modern. I love it. I know I haven't been around for ages. But I've been doing important things like going on holiday and moving back to London. Will inevitably start updating this daily once essays are due in.

Money money money.

2008-08-28T22:41:00.003+10:00

How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

I've fallen in love. Sadly, it's just with Primark again. I had forgotten just how wonderful that place is. For just £12 (that's $25, Australian fact fans), I bought the following:

* 1 x skirt
* 1 x bra
* 2 x pairs of gloves
* 7 x pairs of socks
* 1 x hat
* 3 x pairs of tights.

FYI: They're all black. I'm incredibly unadventurous at times.

I'm in budget heaven.

The One with No Title

2008-08-28T11:40:00.003+10:00

Again, I haven't blogged for bloody ages. The problem is that I'm incredibly busy with a packed schedule of doing absolutely nothing. The minute uni starts back again and I get some basic responsibilities (hey, maybe even a job), I'll be right back in fron of the computer, typing away frantically at anything that isn't a 3,000 word essay.

I've been back for just over a week now, and slowly getting used to everything again. It's been wonderful to see all my friends again, it's been wonderful to see my family again. Can I go back to Melbourne now though please? Loughborough is incredibly dull. It says everything that the most exciting thing to happen in my absence is the fact we now have a Poundland. And a Costa. Two new shops in the space of a year - unheard of! On the plus side, I'm going down to London on Friday for a catchup with some friends and a bit of a wander round. It'll be nice to be back in some form of modern civilization. Fingers crossed I'm much closer to having somewhere to live as well, which is going to be a huge weight off my mind whenever it gets sorted.

Will update on my trip home when I can next be bothered. Currently it's nearly 3am and I'm stupidly not going to bed. Dentist appointment tomorrow morning, which merely confirms I am back in the real world and not stuck in the surreal and bizarre world of travelling. I shall undoubtedly be subjected to a lecture about my lip piercing as well.

The past few days have been good though. On Saturday I went to the pub with my mates from school, and got far drunker than I should have for that time of the afternoon. On Sunday my Dad came round for lunch, and on Tuesday a group of my mates met up again for a free trip to the cinema. It's wonderful knowing people that work there. This was followed by (no surprises) a trip to the pub. I adore the fact I'm back in a land where people know what cider is, rather than just giving a glazed look and serving VB instead.

I miss Melbourne, a lot. I'm definitely going back as soon as I can. Though this man has stolen my idea for doing so, which means no lucrative TV series for me. Nor a best-selling tie-in book. Hmph.

Greetings from Singapore!

2008-08-14T19:17:00.002+10:00

I didn't get eaten by crocodiles in Kakadu, you'll (hopefully) be pleased to hear.I'm currently in Singapore. The temperature outside is 31 degrees, but thanks to the humidity feels like 37. I'm slowly melting away here, and loving it.

The reason I'm posting is for two reasons: a) the internet is free in this hostel, and b) I'm trying to put off dragging my 25kg suitcase upstairs for as long as possible. The effort may finish me off. I catch the train to KL tomorrow, should be pretty awesome. Unless I get murdered, as Amy has assured me will probably happen. Thanks for that... Hopefully off to the Raffles tonight, for a bit of a nose around. I need to have a shower and get something to eat first, I think. I'm going to have a Singapore Sling (well you've got to, haven't you?), which probably isn't such a great idea on an empty stomach, and I currently look a right state. I seem to have sweated out the entire 4 litres of water I drank today, and am sitting with half a bottle of sunblock slathered all over myself. It's an incredibly sexy and classy look, the five star hotels are just clamouring for me to visit.

Will next post again when back home, probably. With heaps of photos.

Catch-up

2008-08-06T20:03:00.010+10:00

I'd like to pretend I've been incredibly busy and important over the past few weeks. Sadly, this would be a complete lie. I've actually done very little.

Most of my time has been taken up with work. I've been lumbered with the 7am shift on Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, as well as Wednesday afternoon and Sunday morning. In total, on my feet for about 44 hours per week, which tends to lead to a very sleepy Erykah. Other than work, I've mostly just been chilling out in Melb.

I'm done with uni here now, which is a very odd feeling - especially as everybody else has been back for two weeks. Would love to stay here to study, but I won't deny the three months off is absolutely wonderful. As is not having to pay $20,000.

Earlier this month I spent three days in Adelaide, which was probably three more days than anybody needs to spend in Adelaide. On the plus side, I got to catch up with my friend Tim, and we ate delicious waffles and drank coffee in an ex-brothel. As you do when in Adelaide.

On the down side, I made the mistake of visiting Port Adelaide - where even the pigeons get bored.

St Kilda then went on to beat Port Adelaide in the football that weekend, which sums up my feelings on the matter quite accurately.

The most exciting thing in Port Adelaide was the seahorse farm. Which amused me for about fifteen minutes before I headed home on the train. Though I have concluded that should reincarnation be a valid concept, I want to come back as a captive seahorse. Get to laze around all day, and the blokes do all the childbearing. What a wonderful concept.

My current big stress is that I'm effectively homeless upon my return. Back in Lough I'll be staying with my mum and step-dad, which is great, but not something for the long term. I was supposed to be moving in with a friend down in London in time for uni, but that's no longer an option and I pretty much have no way of finding somewhere to live until I get home. Not back for another fortnight, which leaves me with roughly two weeks to try and find a place. Really not looking forward to it, I was thinking I'd just be coming back to find everything already sorted. C'est la vie, I suppose.

I leave Melbourne in three days. This is cause for much heartbreak. I really, really don't want to go. Of course I want to get home and see my family and friends, but I love Melbourne. In the plus side, I have ten days of travelling to look forward to. That'll hopefully partly make up for leaving. I'll probably be fine once I actually get home, it's just the stress of having to pack up everything, and say goodbye to lots of people I'm not going to get to see again for a very long time. That's the worst thing. Thank god for Facebook. Still, after leaving Melb I have five days in Darwin, where I'll be seeing Kakadu and Litchfield National Parks. After that it's off to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and Dubai. Then back to sunny England.

In other news, I got my lip pierced. My mother is threatening to disown me.

Adelaide-Melbourne:

Stuff

2008-07-09T22:16:00.001+10:00

Again, I haven’t blogged for bloody ages. This is typical as ever. The minute I’m done with uni, I stop finding things to distract me. Just wait – my blogging will be sporadic at best until September, when once again I’ll suddenly have work to do and find ten million things to find as an alternative.

Though saying that, I have managed to have a reasonably productive week. Last Wednesday Inya and I hired a car and went on a road trip. Not quite as exciting as it sounds, as it required going to East Oakleigh to collect my stuff from storage. Then when back at Inya’s place, 70% of it either went in the bin or to the Salvation Army. So I’ve been paying $88 a month for people to keep hold of stuff I don’t really want. On the plus side, I’ve been able to rescue a few things I stupidly managed to put in storage a few months ago. Such as my hair straighteners. I’ve been without them for four months now, it’s bliss to have them back. Everything was packed in a rush (as ever) the morning I buggered off to Tasmania, so I wasn’t really thinking about what might be needed for the future.

I crashed at Inya’s on the Wednesday night in order to have more time sorting through my stuff, and while there finally got round to reading Of Mice and Men. During GCSEs, every other English class except ours studied it, while we got given Lord of the Flies. As a result, I had two hundred people telling me how rubbish it was. But while bunking down for the night on Inya’s sofa, 120 pages seemed manageable. The other thing that has put me off reading it over the past four years is that a) I know the entire plot thanks to the multiple posters surrounding the English classrooms for the four years I spent at Rawlins, and b) I fully suspected it would make me cry like a baby. Which it did. Though I still love it, which just goes to show that fifteen-year-olds have rubbish taste and should never be trusted (though that could just as well be proven by looking at some of the blokes I went out with at that point in life).

My biggest heartbreak is the sheer number of books I got rid of. For a measly $60. The incredible annoyance is that after completely slaughtering the number of possessions, Inya and I then collected the boxes from the shipping company to discover we now actually have too much space. Absolutely bloody typical. We have four boxes each; so far I’ve managed to fit half my stuff into half a box. So I could have kept every single one of those books. Still, I’m trying to think positive. I have $60, and I have an excuse to spend lots of money in second-hand bookshops when I get back to the UK. I can just go in and inhale the smell without people looking at me like I’m a complete weirdo. Second-hand bookshops have the nicest smell in the world.

Other than that, I haven’t done a great deal. Work, sleep, getting horribly depressed as I have no money and live in a hostel. The usual. I really don’t want to go home though. Well, I do. I want to see all of my friends again. And have my own room, with all mod cons (wardrobe, chest of drawers, a bed that is non-bunk), two bathrooms shared between three people (heaven). Being able to dance around like a lunatic, being able to get changed without fear of anybody walking in on me, no more sharing with smelly boys or messy girls. Not having to pay $5 for an hour on the Internet. Not being worried that all my worldly possessions will be stolen while I sleep. This will all be wonderful. And, I’m hoping, people will buy me lots of beer. I’m actually trying to pre-empt the onslaught of excess food and alcohol consumption by losing a few pounds before I arrive home. Then I can pile the weight back on without fear of needing a whole new wardrobe. I think I’ll be fine until I hit Singapore. The food is going to be amazing. Then it’ll all go downhill from there, I fear. Plus there’s the fact that I will no longer be at work with those horrible stairs and no longer walking the equivalent of 10km per working day. I really need to join the gym when I get home in order to keep up the exercise routine. Or just stop eating.

As I’m rapidly running out of money, I’ve had to change my flight home. Instead of returning on the 21st August, I’ll now be back on the 19th. Not very happy about this, but it saves me £100 in Dubai hotel costs. I’ve also decided to travel up to Kuala Lumpur for a day during my time in Singapore. I travel up on the afternoon of the 15th so I can have a nose out of the window (I imagine it’s going to be pretty awesome), then get a sleeper train back on the 16th. Saves me a night of accommodation, if nothing else. And I like trains.

I can’t wait to go travelling again. I haven’t been anywhere since Perth way back in March, I’m getting itchy feet. As much as I adore Melbourne, it’s always wonderful to see a few other things every now and then. In Darwin I’m hoping to do a three-day tour of Litchfield and Kakadu. See the Outback, which is a proper Aussie experience. Am disappointed I’m not able to see Uluru, but I’m coming back to Aus as soon as I can. It’s something to look forward to. I need it at the moment. As much as I want to go home and see everybody, I suspect once I get back into the routine of university, getting a job and writing endless essays, I’ll become very upset about no longer being in Melbourne. I love the place. Even though I have a job I absolutely hate, and have lived in a backpacker hostel for the past six months, I still love it. It’s bloody typical. I go out of my way to try and stay single out here in order to avoid any future heartbreak, then manage to fall head-over-heels for a city instead. Just fantastic.

At least once I get home I’ll hopefully be keeping busy. I have a week in Loughborough before heading up to Fair Isle to see my Dad. Then after that another week in Loughborough, followed by a girly holiday in Spain, then moving down to Bow (hopefully) to finish uni. I’m really not looking forward to my final year of uni. It sounds difficult and time consuming. I’ve spent the past two years completely dossing around, actually having to grow up and take some sort of responsibility does not sound like fun. Then once that’s over, I have to find a job. A proper job. This terrifies me. Though at least once I’ve got some cash together I can come back out and do the travelling thing properly. I can still apply for a working holiday visa in a few years time. Then there’s New Zealand and Fiji and most of Asia to still see.

Yesterday marks a year since I arrived in Australia. This makes my brain hurt. I honestly cannot believe I’ve been here that long. And in just six weeks time I’ll be home. Fuck.

In other news, I’ve finished reading Emma and Lolita. Emma reminded me why I’m not a massive fan of Austen; it drags ridiculously in the middle. Lolita is brilliant. Disturbing, but brilliant. I also received Danny Wallace’s newest book today as my birthday present from Dave. It arrived four hours ago and I only have one hundred pages left. Though minus points have to go to him for seemingly preferring Sydney to Melbourne. Not cool. Though the Loughborough bits made me laugh and cry in equal measure. I hate that place, but I still miss it. It’s an oxymoron my brain can’t quite handle.

Directions

2008-07-01T21:30:00.003+10:00

How to get to where my stuff is being stored. By Google maps:

http://maps.google.com.au/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=&saddr=Franklin+St,+New+York,+New+York,+New+York,+United+States&daddr=3%2F10+Coora+Road,+Melbourne&mra=pe&mrcr=0&sll=2.108899,-143.085937&sspn=152.095702,259.101562&ie=UTF8&ll=5.266008,-144.492187&spn=151.99577,259.101562&z=2

My favourite part -

Kayak across the Pacific Ocean (7,906 miles)

1, 2, 3...

2008-07-01T20:55:00.003+10:00

Simon tagged me in a meme a couple of weeks ago now, but this is the first time I’ve actually remembered to have a book to hand when sitting on the computers (basically, I can’t be arsed to go up four floors and grab one).

“To participate, you grab any book, go to page 123, find the fifth sentence, and blog it. Then tag five people.”

When Simon was tagged, he was specified a sci-fi book. However, Pete did both a sci-fi and a ‘regular’ book. And as the only sci-fi book I actually own is by Mr. Guerrier himself, I felt it was rather apt.

“Now this ship is always going round and round in circles, isn’t it?”
Simon Guerrier, The Pirate Loop.

And as I’m still ploughing my way through it at every available opportunity,

“Now, according to my idea of Mrs. Churchill, it would be most natural, that while she makes no sacrifice for the comfort of the husband, to whom she owes every thing, while she exercises incessant caprice towards him, she should frequently be governed by the nephew, to whom she owes nothing at all.”
Jane Austen, Emma.

I tag my fellow book nerds Amanda, Amy and Aneeta, as well as Jess and Eric.

Speechless (literally)

2008-06-29T19:34:00.005+10:00

I still don't have my voice back. This is incredibly annoying.

I have been told I sound like:

* Mariella Frostrup
* Tom Waits
* A thirteen-year-old boy (due to the fact my voice can now jump three octaves mid-syllable)
* I've been smoking 50 a day since the age of six.

I think I'll settle for sounding like Mariella.

Everyone seems to find it hilarious though. To the point where I keep getting phonecalls simply so people can laugh at me.

My wandering days aren't over

2008-06-28T21:12:00.002+10:00

I went for a walk earlier. Still not entirely sure why, it just seemed like something to do. I didn’t even have any idea where I was headed, just wandered round various parts of Melbourne for several hours.

Docklands was a particularly nice surprise. They had some bizarre fire/music display on, which was absolutely awesome. After all, fire and music are two of my favourite things. It basically involved people hitting bits of metal for twenty minutes while waving fire around and running gas through hollow tubes, to then set it alight. Very hard to explain, but it was wonderful. I love finding random street performance while wandering round Melbourne.

I love wandering around. Hopefully burned off a bit of the excess from the past two days as well.

I am currently being serenaded by what seems to be karaoke night in the bar downstairs. I really wish they wouldn't.

Birthday-ing

2008-06-27T22:42:00.000+10:00

I haven’t blogged properly for ages now. Blame a combination over the past month of essays, work and illness. Now I’ve actually managed to get a few days off from work for my birthday, and have been able to sit down and chill out.

My birthday was wonderful. Ok, so I’m ill for the second year in a row, but that’s fine. I’m slowly getting over it all, with the exception of having almost completely lost my voice and being comprised of 95% phlegm. I feel ok though, which is good. I just sound ridiculous.

We started the night in Bimbos, and a surprising number of people actually turned up. More than I was expecting, which was a lovely surprise. So in addition to the usual (Aneeta, Inya), I also had a couple of people from the hostel, some people from uni, and even a couple of guys from work. So I got beer bought for me all evening, as well as lots of chocolate – $20 in chocolate coins from Inya and some Belgian chocolate from Sumon, a bottle of wine from the wonderful Dan and Adam, and a Parker pen from Hassan. I don’t think it’ll be coming to work with me though, customers have a tendency to ‘borrow’ pens off me and never give them back. Pain in the bloody arse, those people. I intend to save it for something incredibly literary and worthy. Quite what that is yet I don’t know.

After Bimbos we headed down to the Trader Bar, where they had an indie night on. We got in for free, which was a bonus. The bad thing was it turned out to be completely rubbish. Had I paid to get in, I’d have been gutted. According to Inya, it was really good a few months ago and used to be full of backpackers. Now it’s full of posers. We probably only spent about an hour there. The music was surprisingly rubbish too.

The Trader Bar itself has an incredibly interesting concept though – the bar prices are changed every ten minutes. It’s based on the stock market, so the cost of popular drinks are raised, while the price of less popular drinks crashes. It means that you either stick to one drink all night and only go up to the bar when it’s cheap, or mix drinks all night by simply buying the cheapest. Probably completely capitalist and wrong, really, but it’s fun. It also sadly meant I was drinking Crown Lager, which is disgusting. But only $6 a stubbie, so I can’t really complain.

After leaving Trader Bar, we wandered back to the hostel in order to drink my birthday bottle of wine on the hostel rooftop. Between the remaining three of us, a bottle didn’t go terribly far, so we trekked down to the Exford Hotel and bought two more bottles. This was possibly our first mistake. The second mistake was going for the $8 bottles of wine, which were absolutely foul. It certainly didn’t help that the first bottle had been really good wine, so drinking sour, bitter red wasn’t a good way to end the evening. After sitting in the stairwell until around 3am, we got moved by security (oh dear) and ended up moving down to the kitchen to finish the wine. Mistake number three happened after finishing said wine. A note for the future: if have already drunk a reasonable amount of beer, then drank at least a bottle of mostly terrible red wine by yourself, that is not the point of the night to join a bunch of random Irish blokes and help them finish their goon. I think we eventually staggered into bed at something daft like 5am, and Aneeta took the spare bed in our dorm, not particularly wanting to walk home by herself in such a drunken state. Slightly concerning to wake up the next morning and find Aneeta gone, with a random guy sleeping where she’d been though.

I woke up this morning looking a right state. Makeup smeared all over my face, last night’s clothes still half-on. It’s nice to see my twenties have started so maturely and grownup. Though I think I must have been a mess when visiting the bottle shop earlier in the evening. I mentioned it was my birthday and the guy behind the counter laughed and said, “twenty-one again then?” AGAIN?! How bloody rude, twenty-one is still twelve months away. Lord knows how old he thought I was. At this rate I’m going to have to start investing in anti-aging creams, if I already look old and haggard enough to be celebrating being twenty-one for the second time round.

And can I just say, respect to Nicola Roberts. Flicking through a copy of Company magazine and it says she’s launched a range of makeup products for people with pale skin. Good for her, that’s what I say. There is barely any stuff I can use that doesn’t either turn me orange, or look like a clown. Or both at once, if I fancy going for the Jodie Marsh look. It took seven years for L’Oreal to make a foundation that actually matches my stupidly pale skin tone; hopefully this new makeup will be semi-decent. I’m probably far too excited about this prospect. And I like Nicola Roberts. I seem to be the only person who actually does, but I think she gets far too much flak. She’s hardly “ugly”, as seems to be claimed. And the fact I’ve been told I look a bit like her (though I think it’s just the pale skin that makes people say that) makes me have a lot of sympathy for the poor girl. And even before the vague resemblance was pointed out to me, I’ve always thought she’s nice looking. Better than the Barbie doll WAG look that Cheryl Cole seems to constantly promote. Speaking of redheads, I’m currently contemplating dying my hair red again. I used to love it. I rock the pre-Raphaelite look.

Courtesy of Aneeta, I also have a wonderful new phrase. “I’m not drunk, I’m just beer happy.” Love it.

20/20

2008-06-26T00:37:00.003+10:00

Today I turn twenty. No longer a teenager – I’m all growed up.

For the second year in a row, I’m ill on my birthday. This is not good. Though on the plus side, I don’t have an A level exam this time round, which is a definite improvement on my 18th.

Off out tonight, which should be fun. $4 pizza and an indie night in the city. What more could a girl ask for? (Except perhaps to be virus-free).

The past year has been crazy. On my 19th, I knew I'd be in Aus for my next birthday, but never really thought it would happen. Now it has. I don't feel twenty though, to me that still sounds incredibly mature and responsible. I still feel about thirteen at heart.

Australian beer...

2008-06-23T18:08:00.002+10:00

... has the best adverts.

Fact.

It's a shame VB tastes like crap. But this ad is 100% genuine. And awesome.

Reasons why I hate my job: #792

2008-06-22T18:17:00.002+10:00

I started work at 7am this morning. As public transport doesn't even run that early on a Sunday morning, I had to walk. I left the hostel at 6:30am. It was still dark. It's now 6:30pm, I've just got back, and it's dark again. I've not seen the sun all day. How depressing.

I worked 11 hours today. I'd have kicked up a fuss if I wasn't in such dire need of money. At the end of the day it earned me $121. Which I need quite badly. I got paid today too - it's the $450 envelope of cash that makes it all worthwhile.

In other news, my second wisdom tooth is growing through. I REFUSE to have any dental problems in the next six weeks. The NHS Dentist is waiting for me - I don't care how much pain I may end up in, I'm not paying ridiculous amounts of money.

Why I love Danny Wallace

2008-06-21T20:34:00.010+10:00

The man proves life after Loughborough is possible. There is hope. I'm not forever tainted by association. I've escaped for now, but who knows how long for? In six weeks I'll be back there. I may never leave again.

It's incredible though - just replace 1980s with 1990s, and that's my childhood. Proves there is absolutely nothing to do in Loughborough except if you're at the uni - I suspect there's several thousand of us somewhere all with the exact same stories. Most of them probably are still in Loughborough. It has a way of pulling you back. On the plus side, I can live safely in the knowledge that absolutely nothing will be different when I go home. Loughborough's stuck in a minor time warp. Nothing ever changes. Though the lucky bastard Danny Wallace only spent six years there. Six! Try eighteen mate. That's suffering...

I really, really can't wait for this book to come out. I remember stumbling accross a listing for it on Amazon about eighteen months ago, and was gutted to find out it was listed for June 2008, not 2007. Loughborough deserves a place in literary history.

I'm actually slightly homesick. What is wrong with me?

Films

2008-06-20T23:16:00.000+10:00

I've finally got round to updating the Herald Sun's 100 films list. And unsurprisingly, I've seen a rubbish amount of them. I've got a lot of work on my hands. And too much space being taken up in that damn right hand column!

Seriously though - Pirates of the Carribbean being better than Lord of the Rings? Rubbish!

Things to remember if you ever go out to a restaurant:

2008-06-20T18:26:00.004+10:00

1) Do NOT MOVE THE FUCKING TABLES WITHOUT ASKING! How would you like it if I wandered into your living room and started moving the sofa? And the customers who are rude enough to put tables together without asking are also the following - stupid (as they always put them together in the omost retarded combinations), and difficult (no, you can't have something off the breakfast menu, we stopped serving that seven hours ago. Now order some pizza or piss off.

2) Don't just sit down either. If you sit down without asking me, I won't know you're there. And if I don't know you're there, you won't get served. And don't you dare get pissed off with me for not serving you in this situation - I'm a waitress, not a psychic. All it takes are four easy words - "table for two, please". Simple

3) If I'm laden with three plates, this is NOT the time to try and order a cup of coffee. Surprising as it may seem, I might actually be BUSY serving ANOTHER TABLE. Wait 30 seconds, then order. It won't kill you.

4) Don't blame me if your coffee is too hot/your food is too cold. I don't make coffees, or prepare food. I just serve it. I'll do my best to sort the problem out, but if you start shouting at me, I won't bother.

5) If you're a group of fifteen, don't expect a table without booking. Because there won't be any room, or enough waiting staff.

6) Our alcohol license expires at 2am. After this, we cannot serve you, no matter how many $50 notes you try and bribe us with. (Sadly).

7) If your meal costs $49, and you pay with a $50 note, leave the bloody change. It's only a dollar to you, but if every single table did that we'd be quids in.

8) If you're in a shitty mood, don't take it out on me. I'm bringing you food and alcohol while you sit on your arse having a good time. Be nice to me.

9) Don't patronise me. Just because I'm a waitress doesn't mean I'm an idiot.

10) Don't sexually harass me. I'm there to bring you food, not to be perved over.

11) A wave is enough to get my attention and bring me over to your table. If you start waving your arms in the air, I'll conclude you're an arsehole and ignore you.

God, I can't wait to leave.

Banks and blood pressure

2008-06-19T22:03:00.007+10:00

It's been a weird old few days.

I've just realised I've completely run out of money, and have spent a long time trying to persuade the hbank to give me an extension on my overdraft. Only problem was the person I chatted to on Internet banking was what can only be described as a moron.

Me: Can I extend my overdraft?
Her: I'll just put you on hold
*Five minutes later*
Her: No.
Me: But on the website it says students are entitled to an extra £250 of overdraft for going into third year - which I'm doing.
Her: That'll happen automatically.
Me: No, because last year I was promised the same thing, and it didn't happen until I phoned up and asked about it.
Her: We can give you a personal loan.
Me: ...Ok
Her: You'll just need to come into branch and talk to us about it.
Me: I'm in AUSTRALIA.
Her: There's HSBC branches in Australia
Me: Every time I've been to one, they've told me they can't help with my UK account, only if I open an Australian one.
Her: Well there's nothing we can do over the phone.
Me: But when I rang up a year ago, I got given my £250 of overdraft I'm entitled to, as well as an additional £250 on top of that. And that was all entirely over the phone.
Her: You'll have to come into branch.
Me: AAAAARGH.

So I gave up on that idea, and decided to make an impassioned plea to the credit card people. Which so far, seems to be going ok. The woman on the phone was the complete opposite to the first idiot, and actually helpful. And lovely - she even wished me a happy birthday for next week, and told me she hopes I have a good time during my remaining weeks in Australia. So now I'm currently waiting for a phone call back, hopefully telling me they think I'm wonderful and they want to lend me more money. On the plus side, I'm thinking (praying) they'll go for it. I always make my minimum repayments, and they get so much off me in interest every month they should absolutely bloody love me by now. So, fingers crossed people. Or I'm completely screwed.

In other news, I spent Tuesday in hospital. Basically, I've had a virus for a few days, which ended up making my blood pressure ridiculously low, which led to me collapsing. Which was naturally very exciting. I'm absolutely fine now, but I was stuck in hospital with a drip in my hand for six hours. I had an ECG, blood tests and urine tests. So my heart is fine, I'm not aenaemic, or pregnant - which is always good to know I suppose. The problem was that every time I stood up, my blood pressure dropped, so I had endless blood pressure tests standing up, then sitting down, then standing up again, then sitting up again... Lots of exciting fun. Ont he plus side, my lovely friend Inya helped me get to hospital, and waited with me until she had to go to work, which I really appreciated.

The thing that led from this was my boss tried to fire me for missing work on Tuesday. Because he is a horrible person. I'd like to think that most people, if they had to go to the emergency department, have a boss that would at least have the courtesy to show a bit of concern and enquire after their health. Not me. I just got shouted at, told I was a liar and that I didn't deserve to have a job for him any more. His theory is that I invented the entire hospitalisation simply because I wanted a day off work. I have absolutely no idea where on earth he got this idea from. I have slaved away in that bloody place for ten months, and in that time I have had one sick day. It's not exactly like I'm always skiving off. If I a) didn't need the cash and b) was staying for longer than six weeks, I'd have told him to stuff the bloody job. But sadly, I need the money I earn there, and I haven't got enough time to find a replacement job in the short time I have left here. So, I'm staying. And gritting my teeth through all the crap. Just six weeks left. If I could walk out of there tomorrow and have enough money to get home, I would. But I'm broke, and have to stay there. Sigh. Just six weeks.

Though if anything's going to raise my blood pressure, it'll be my horrible job and all this bank stress.

Seven songs

2008-06-19T00:08:00.001+10:00

After being tagged by Pete, and much thinking, I have come up with the following list:

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring*. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.

1) Funny Little Frog - Belle & Sebastian. Because it never fails to raise a smile, no matter how much of a horrible day I may have had at work. And these are plentiful.

2) Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance. I only gave it a listen after reading the laughable bile-filled rants thrown at 'emo' by the Daily Mail, and found I quite liked it. If only because I like to think, that in a very small personal way, I'm annoying the hell out of some right-wing bigot somewhere. As of yet, I haven't found myself wallowing in a suicidal pit of despair, either.

3) The Birds In Your Garden - Pulp. Quite possibly the oddest love song of all time. Which is why I love it. Utterly bizarre. And Pulp are always grand.

4) Friday I'm in Love - The Cure. The ultimate getting ready to go out on a Friday night song. Up tempo, great to dance to, and wonderfully cheerful. Even if it's completely not true - Fridays usually end up with me collapsed in a drunken heap in the corner (and lets be honest, probably starting to resemble Robert Smith by this point), but it's enough to get anybody in the mood for a fantastic night out.

5) Karma Police - Radiohead. I'm on a bit of a nostalgia kick at the moment, and this reminds me of having just turned 15 and being at my first music festival - Glastonbury. One of those musical moments you never forget. Still the best live show I've ever been to. For a minute there, I lost myself. Bring on the 21st at Glasto.

6) Mulder and Scully - Catatonia. Brilliant voice and a fantastic song. Nuff sed.

7) Last Thing On My Mind - Steps. God, how much trashier can it get? The hair! The clothes! The dancing! Yet when I was nine years old, this was the coolest thing ever. Yes, really. And I said I'd been on a recent nostalgia kick. This is so hilariously bad, I love it. The late 90s was such a special time for both music and fashion. The world needs more bad pop music in modern times, it would be a much happier place.

I tag Amanda, Amy, Aneeta, Ben, Eric, Jess and Solstice Dreamer

* Or autumn/winter, if you're on this stupid side of the equator.

Friday & Saturday night

2008-06-16T17:37:00.000+10:00

Fun night out with Amy and Aneeta. Behaved myself (mostly). Then I got back to the hostel, started chatting to a random bloke in the internet café at about 3am, then got his number and we went out for a drink (ok, several) on Saturday night. Which was somewhat unexpected, but a very nice surprise. I could get used to this whole attractive men buying me alcohol thing, I really could. Had a lot of fun at the weekend. The downside is that Amy has now gone home for the holidays, and will only be back for a few days before I leave Melbourne, which is sad. Next time we get to meet up after that will probably be in the UK. This is the horrible thing about being an exchange student, just after making lots of friends, you have to lose them all again. So after a year in London, I left everybody to come to Melb. Now after a year in Melb, I have to do the same thing to go back to London. Then after a year in London, we're all going to graduate and go seperate ways anyway. It's tough.

Off to see Sex and the City: The Movie tonight. Even though I'm ill with an unspecified virus, I'm hoping it should still be a lot of fun. At the end of the day, it's not like I'm going have to think very hard during the film. It'll just work with my brain switched off.

A word of advice

2008-06-13T01:17:00.004+10:00

If, and I repeat if, you're watching a television show set in a library where people are killed horribly by what's lurking in the shadows...

...don't watch it in a library at 1am. Because that's just stupid.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they Aaaaaarrrrrr

2008-06-12T18:01:00.014+10:00

So, eyetest. It went as well as can be expected, really. Especially considering I had to contend with the evil eyedrops of death. Twice. They’re only supposed to be needed once, but I ruined the first lot by my eyes watering (I can’t help it, bring anything near my eyes and they start streaming), and blinking too much. So I had to go through the whole trauma again. And these weren't just any eye drops, oh no. These were the wonderful pupil dialating ones that are the direct cause of my entire phobia. So a lovely way to start a Thursday morning. Gotta love a bit of regression therapy at 9am. This morning was all a bit Ghost Light.

And, miraculously, I didn't have a nervous breakdown. In fact, the horrible hideous memories of not being able to see - that I've been slowly nurturing for the past fourteen years, turned out to be complete bollocks. And while I still don't like people putting things in my eyes, I'm no longer ridiculously terrified of eyedrops. So hurrah! They say you should face your fears, and I have. Next challenge - flying ants (ugh).

I've also come to the conclusion that eye tests are just designed to make me look as ridiculous as possible. For the peripheral vision test, I had to wear an eyepatch. Hence multiple Captain Hook/Pirates of the Caribbean/Yaaaaaar jokes from me. Mostly internally, or the poor optometrist would have realised I'm completely bonkers. I'm telling you now, it looked sexy. I have absolutely no idea where they got it from, it looked like the sort of thing that comes free in a Christmas cracker. The test was very odd as well. Trying to see white lights on a white background, when your pupils are dialating and your vision's already slightly fuzzy isn't the easiest task ever. But my peripheral vision seems to be fine, which is good.

The bad part of the eyedrops was that instead of my pupils going back to normal after a couple of hours, they instead stayed dialated for most of the day. The result being that I couldn't actually read anything without my glasses (including the OrderMate at work) and had to wear them for the rest of the day. Which, of course, prompted lots of laughter at work. But I'm beginning to think the glasses may be the way forward. Case in point - I got $19.50 in tips today, on a 5-hour shift. Normally I'm lucky to get $5. Ok, so the majority of it was from a man who seemed to be chanelling Jimmy Saville, but he's now my favourite person of all time as he paid for my meal and drinks tonight. If only all people were that generous.

After work I headed down to Bimbos and ate delicious $4 pizza. Loving the Bimbos. Main was Pesto & goats cheese pizza, dessert was the wonderfully gorgeous banana & maple syrup pizza. Loving the pizza - and $4 is a bloody bargain. Also loving the Little Creatures beer. And all paid for through my tips. Loving it. And I got to have a good natter with Inya, which is always awesome. It's good to have someone to offload my silly hangups on.

I've also just discovered there was a 21st anniversary production of Chess last month, with Idina Menzel and Adam Pascal. Once again, I start to ponder if maybe I am in the wrong bloody country. Nothing like that ever happens here in Aus. Sigh. The DVD better come soon. Instead I've been wasting my evening away watching clips of it on YouTube, rather than doing essays. Then I watched the video for the Elaine Paige/Barbara Dickson version, and have been laughing myself sick at the 80s hairdos. Oh, the backcombing. Oh, the perm. I seriously find it hard to comprehend how people ever thought that actually looked good. But it does mean many of my friends have hilarious photos from their teens I can obtain fantastic amusement from.

Then I started catching up on series 4 of the Apprentice. I am never going to get any work done.

Off out tomorrow. Going to get very drunk and behave inappropriately. Can't wait.

Hurrah!

2008-06-12T11:06:00.003+10:00

Though I have had a very traumatic morning (one word: eyedrops), the good news is I don't have glaucoma. This is excellent.

More to follow later (when I'm not due to be at work).

In 8 hours...

2008-06-12T02:31:00.000+10:00

... I will find out if I'm going to go blind. Fuck.

The Tomatoes of Death

2008-06-11T16:32:00.006+10:00

I've definitely being doing essays for far too long. I even had a dream about doing essays last night. Probably the clsoest thing I've had to a "nightmare" for a very long time (unless you count the dream I had about eating tomatoes, which was somewhat traumatising).

I don't do nightmares. I just have surreal moments, and as my life is generally a sequence of surreal moments, I just roll with the punches in dreams. Though last night I dreamt i was in my Backgrounds to English Literature tutorial, being asked to give a presentation on my essay topic. Firstly, I hadn't done the essay. Secondly, I hadn't even really considered what to do my essay on. Thirdly, this is all true in real life as well. But I think my brain accepted it was a dream (Amy and Aneeta were there, neither of whom are actually in my BEL tutorial), and I formulated some wonderful plan of escape. Sadly, this never seems to happen in real life. But still, I don't want to dream about university. Ever.

On top of essay/university stress, stuff seems to be happening back home. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, or how serious any of it really is, as I'm getting all the information third-hand. But there's absolutely nothing I can do from this side of the planet, and that makes me sad. Even if all I need to do is just something as simple as hug my mum.

I have my glaucoma test tomorrow too. I am absolutely dreading it. Firstly, there's a reasonable likelihood that they'll give me eyedrops. Secondly, I'm absolutely bloody terrified they're going to tell me I have glaucoma. I have no idea what to do if this turns out to be the case. I'm just hoping I'm not going to have to start thinking about it.

On the plus side, tomatoes are evil. I always suspected as such.

I'm bored

2008-06-10T22:39:00.004+10:00

I'm bored. I can't wait to go out and do something. Anything. One of the guys on reception in the hostel asked me today what I've been up to lately. My response?

"Oh, not much. Actually, nothing. Arse."

My life lately has just been a whirlwind of excitement. Essays, work, essays, sleep, essays, work, work, essays. Not so great. I spent most of the weekend in the library and/or 24-hour computer lab with Amy and Aneeta, with various trips out onto Lygon Street for food. That was the highlight of the weekend really. We went to a Vietnamese (I think) place on Saturday, where I had tofu and lemongrass (which was amazing), and on Sunday we went to Cafe Corretto, where I had a spinach and ricotta pizza, which again was quite good. Service is much better in our place though - no, really. And Amy apparently received lots of unwanted male attention, which I was completely oblivious to, due to having my mind on food. As ever.

Nearly there with essays now. Thank God. Over half way through. Just a couple more days and I can go out and dance the night away. Can't wait.

Oh dear

2008-06-10T03:08:00.002+10:00

I appear to have run out of money. This is not good. I am currently pondering whether it would be worth forgetting about a stay in Dubai on the way home. Would love to go, but the cheapest non-brothel hotel I've been able to find costs 50 pounds a night. For a four night stay that's a small fortune. Changing my flight, on the other hand, will cost 100 Singapore dollars, which is about 30 quid. I need to sit down and try and work out some sort of budget when I've finished my essays. I still have to pay for my Adelaide-Darwin trip, and ship loads of stuff home (argh). Need to calculate how much work are likely to pay me over the next six weeks. Or just phone the bank and beg for an overdraft extension. Fun times.

"I do my best thinking with my mouth open"

2008-06-08T02:18:00.012+10:00

I've spent half the evening chatting to people on Facebook instead of writing essays. This becomes even worse when you factor in that two of these people are currently sitting right next to me (aka: Amy and Aneeta). We're all sleep deprived, essay stressed, and insane.
We are so mature.

To be fair, we're spending our Saturday night in the 24hour computer lab writing essays. This time last week we were drinking cocktails. We have to amuse ourselves somehow.

Don't we look stunning? The lighting in here is incredibly flattering, and we're all functioning on about 4 hours sleep. A fabulous combination.

My debut album

2008-06-07T19:37:00.004+10:00

Yes, I know. I said I was going to leave the blog alone. But this isn't a proper post, so it doesn't count. Besides, I've had a shitty day at work, and spent the last few hours reading through secondary sources (even though they're about Lord of the Rings, they're still ridiculously dull), and writing an essay plan. It's going to be a rubbish essay (I am saying absolutely nothing ground-breaking, merely that the novel is sexist, and the film less so), but it's better than nothing. At least it'll get me some sort of passing grade. If not, I'm in trouble!

---

Shamelessly stolen off a forum I go on:

1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

*Hint* - If you want to do this again, you'll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3 - Go to flickr's "explore the last seven days" http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover (you may need to play with the URL to get it to show in this thread, deleting everything after .jpg).

Put it all together, that's your debut album.

My band: Rangitikei
First Album: Thrown with great force
Album Cover:

Essay hell

2008-06-06T17:11:00.003+10:00

I have essays to do. And Melbourne University, in all their infinite wisdom, have decided to shut the library early for the next three days. So while they've been open until 3am for the past week, they're shutting at 10pm every night now, due to the fact it's a long weekend.

The fact a huge proportion of their students have essays due on the Tuesday seems to mean nothing to them. After all, staying open late on a public holiday and/or weekend costs money, and god forbid a university spend money on the well-being of their students.

Plus there's the fact I have work tomorrow. Even though I told them multiple times I had loads of work to do for uni and needed the week off. So for a large amount of the time the library is actually open tomorrow, I can't use it.

This wouldn't be a problem if I still had access to the 24-hour computer lab. However, my student card no longer gets me into the building. I am assuming this is because technically, I am no longer a student there, even though I still have four essays due. I may have to just hang around outside and hope somebody nice takes pity and lets me in.

The result of this all means I shall not be blogging until Wednesday (at the earliest), as I really have quite a lot of work to do. Sigh. After this, though I am free as a bird until January. Fun times.

6:30am ramblings

2008-06-06T06:32:00.009+10:00

As as addendum to my previous post, I feel I should add:

a) It's stupid o'clock in the morning and I'm ~~probably~~ very sleep deprived
b) My head is full of Freudian psychoanalysis
c) I'm stressed about essays
d) As ever, I may be over-reacting just a tad.

Normal service will be resumed shortly

Beeeeeeeeep.

6am ramblings

2008-06-06T05:57:00.010+10:00

Right now I’m in a place mentally that I haven’t been for a while, which worries me. What’s keeping me going is the thought that I somehow got through it all before, I can again. Perhaps it’s my last vestiges of teenage angst – after all, in just three short weeks I’ll be a twenty-something.

Bizarrely though, it’s actually started helping me somewhat. I nearly did something incredibly stupid today. But, amazingly, I managed to persuade myself not to, and somehow managed to direct my attentions towards finishing one of my essays instead (well, nearly).

I’m entirely aware I am being incredibly self-indulgent, but what on earth are blogs for if not for wallowing? At the very least, it stops me offloading my problems onto people who I barely know and really shouldn’t have to put up with my oddness (appreciate your patience though, thank you).

Somewhere, something has gone slightly wrong. Am supposed to be Little Miss Independent. Trouble is, Little Miss Independent’s buggered off on some wonderful adventure and I’ve been left with Little Miss Wants to hide under the duvet and not have to deal with the outside world for a few weeks and Little Miss Quite just wants to go home now thankyou.

Of course, the Daily Mail would claim it’s because I’m single and therefore doomed to a lifetime of misery. As obviously, all single women are depressed due to the fact that all us girlies could ever want in life is a bloke. While I’m not denying it would be nice, I’m realistic enough to accept that I am too stubborn, too impulsive, too stroppy and too daft to settle into any sort of relationship (nor is any bloke mad enough to put up with me and my ever-changing moods). And, as I’m not going to change my ways any time soon, doing things my own way, by myself suits me fine.

Basically, it all boils down to the fact that I’m hideously unmotivated about my essays, can’t seem to make myself do any work, and instead of getting my arse into gear and just bloody doing some work, I’m childishly sulking. Though I won’t deny living in a hostel makes everything quite a bit harder.

It’s at times like this I hate the fact I’m an English Lit student. I hate having to write essays and have x number of background sources and put everything into my own words, but make sure I’ve come up with my own points and not repeated the sources too much and spend hours making sure I’ve formatted the footnotes properly and try and come up with some sort of fabulous point worthy of a H1 (in my dreams).

And on top of all that, I look a complete wreck at the moment, which is just fabulous. Basically, my sleep patterns are all over the place as I’m trying to do some work, so I look exhausted and pale. I’m stressed out and spotty. So obviously, that’s helping with the whole being cheerful thing.

Going back to the birthday thing, I can’t believe it’s nearly here. It doesn’t feel like June at all. The nights are long and dark, the days are cold, and it’s winter. I’m a summer baby. We’re shooting ever-closer to the shortest day of the year (again, crazy stuff), and just as the nights start lengthening I’ll be heading back home just in time for winter again. Le sigh.

But still, home. Looking forward to it, as much as I hate to leave Melbourne:

* I'll be living in London
* I'm doing a module based solely on going to the theatre and art exhibitions
* Shakespeare Shakespeare Shakespeare
* I'll be living in a house. With my own room. And only sharing a kitchen and bathroom with three others. Bliss.
* Europe is my backyard
* I can bugger off home for the weekend whenever I feel like it
* No horrible waitressing job (I hope)
* I’ll live in a country where Dr Pepper is sold almost everywhere
* Proper chocolate

And of course, get to see my family and friends as much as I want.

Note – if already in a low mood, never, and I repeat never, listen to these songs back-to-back:

* The Origin of Love – Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack
* Fake Plastic Trees – Radiohead
* Nightswimming – REM
* Rape Me – Nirvana

Oh iTunes shuffle, why must you mock me so?

Sponsoring

2008-06-06T01:13:00.001+10:00

Sponsor my mate Ali in Race For Life.

All money goes to Cancer Research UK.

Go on - you know you want to!

Surreal questions

2008-06-05T14:30:00.003+10:00

So I'm just idly sitting in the hostel, wasting my life away on Facebook.

Guy who works in the cafe: Excuse me, would you like a banana?
Me: Erm, yes.
Guy: We've got some excess.

That was somewhat odd. But on the plus side, I have a free banana.

Oh dear

2008-06-04T14:53:00.006+10:00

I just spent far too much on books. Yet again. However, I have managed to justify this to myself in four easy steps.

1) Six books for less than $60 is an absolute bargain.
2) They're all on the lists of books I need to read (except Oliver Twist, which seems to be the only bloody Dickens novel that isn't).
3) They're better for me than DVDs, as I can actually persuade myself to sell them before I go home *sob*
4) They work as inspiration to do essays. I've told myself I can't actually read any of them until my essays are done.

The books I bought are:

Middlemarch - George Eliot
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (not on either list, but still something I think I should read)
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
Emma - Jane Austen
Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift

Most of them are things I've intended to read for ages, but never got round to. Just a week to go and then I'm free of uni, it'll be fantastic.

In other news, my week off no longer is as such. I knew work would do this to me. It's the first time off I've had in ages, purely because I need to get my bloody essays done. I told them weeks ago I needed June 1st-11th off. But no, I've so far been given at least three shifts over the next week, with probably more to be offloaded onto, me. I really can't wait to get out of there. I got told it's because people keep leaving and they need someone to cover the shifts. Maybe if my boss actually treated people like human beings and granted them a bit of respect, people would actually stay in the job. It's very rare that new people stay for any considerable amount of time, the turnover there is ridiculous. Most newcomers rarely stay any longer than a month, because they can't put up with the stress. I only ever stayed because I needed the money, and now it's got to the point where I'm leaving soon anyway, I've given up caring. Can't wait to leave though.

The five stages of drunkeness

2008-06-04T02:37:00.002+10:00

Swiped from Facebook. And oh so true. Oh dear, I've done this far too many times.

Stage 1 - CLEVER
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always right, and of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.

Stage 2 - ATTRACTIVE
This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about every subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet. You can also make bets at this stage because of course you are still CLEVER so, naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it doesn't matter how much you bet because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, in the knowledge that you are clearly the most
ATTRACTIVE person present.

Stage 4 - INVINCIBLE
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because you are now INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength. You have no fear of losing this battle, because as well as being. INVINCIBLE you are CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway.

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do anything, because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them for the same reason. You are also INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know all the words.

THE FIVE STAGES OF SOBERING UP

Stage 1 - STUPID
As you regain consciousness and begin to enjoy the headache, the churning stomach and the cold sweats, you realise that you have lost not only several hours of your life but also the ability to concentrate on anything whatsoever. You are now STUPID and will remain so for a minimum of 12 hours.

Stage 2 - UGLY
Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom mirror first thing you are horrified to discover that you have now become even UGLIER than you previously thought possible. Not only have you got bloodshot eyes and a glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much that your grandfather probably looks healthier. Unfortunately you are still too STUPID to know better than to try and shave whilst shaking.

Stage 3 - POOR
Having crawled out of bed and got dressed you are about to shamble out he door when you discover that the money that was to last you the week is now missing from your wallet. Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened to it but the traces of curry on your clothes allow the possibility that you might have treated everyone to a takeaway at some point. Alternatively your pocket could have been picked or you might have given the taxi driver a fifty-pound note by mistake. Rationalising that you couldn't possibly have been that STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to believe that you were the only one who bought any food or drinks all night and start to loathe all your friends.

Stage 4 - FRAGILE
As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, your consequently FRAGILE self-esteem plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical condition ensures that you feel liable to shatter if anyone even speaks to you.

Stage 5 - CONSPICUOUS
This is the final stage of sobering up. Unfortunately, everyone can spot this CONSPICUOUS condition and its cause from a great distance. Even worse, they know that they can complete your misery by making fun of you, and that you are too STUPID to retaliate, too FRAGILE to hit them, too POOR to bribe them and too UGLY to hide.

Still fun though.

On the rooftop

2008-06-03T21:38:00.010+10:00

Work on Saturday was horrible. I’d originally planned to have a decent night out on Friday, but was phoned earlier in the week and told to come in at 7am on Saturday morning. So, the night out was rescheduled to Saturday night, and all would be well. Or so I thought. So, I started at 7, and the person to come in at 10 was new. She’s lovely, and we get on really well, but at the end of the day she is still new and not entirely sure what she’s doing. And while I don’t hold this against her whatsoever (we’ve all been there, after all), it still means extra work for me when I have to keep helping her out finding stuff in the computer, But, I thought Salma would be coming in at 12 and my job would be easier. She turned up at 12, and had left again by 12:15 because she was ill.

Now this is the wonderful thing about my job. Not once was I asked if I minded working late. It was just assumed that I’d automatically be fine to work straight through until 6pm. Ok, so all I had planned was doing a bit of shopping and fitting in a power nap, but still. The fact nobody even bothered to let me know I’d now be expected to do an eleven hour shift really pissed me off. And not only was it a long day, it was also incredibly busy, as we had two people doing the work of three. On top of that, my boss refused to call anybody to come in early to help us out, and told us we could handle it ourselves. Of course, he then got pissy when we obviously couldn't handle it ourselves.

ARGH. I'm really strting to look forward to leaving that place in six weeks time.

So it got to 6pm, I finally got to leave, and really, really didn’t feel like going on a night out. But it had got to the point where I really couldn’t cancel it again, so dragged myself out.

On the whole, it was a good night, though perhaps not as well scheduled as it could have been. My plan was to have it at the beginning of SWOT vac in the hope that people wouldn’t have too much exam/essay stress, but that fell flat on its arse. Turns out everybody is still stressed, and won’t come out on the piss. Boo. Still, was good. Apart from the fact we planned to meet at the Night Owl at 8pm. Turned up to find it steadfastly shut. Quite why a bar in the middle of the city is shut on a Saturday night at 8pm, I am yet to have answers for. But there we are. It required frantic re-arranging, and phoning round everyone to let them know of the change. And while one of my friends went back home to get some ID, I went to meet Inya.

Trying to find Inya was an experience in itself.

Phone conversation #1:
Her: We’re in a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, come and find us.
Me: I’m on Swanston St, where abouts are you?
Her: It’s between Swanston & Russell, it’s called Chairman Mao’s.

So, I walk up Lt Bourke Street between Swanston and Russell.

Phone conversation #2:
Me: Inya, what side of the street are you on?
Her: The right.
Me: Ok, I think I’ve just walked straight past the restaurant.

I walk up and down the street twice more.

Phone conversation #3:
Me: Inya, I’m either being a retard or I really have got glaucoma, I can’t find this restaurant anywhere. Can you stand outside and grab me as I walk past for the fourth time?
Her: Erykah, are you drunk?
Me: No.
Her: You sound drunk.
Me: I’m not, just lost and confused.
Her: We’re finishing up anyway, wait on Swanston Street and we’ll come and get you.

After waiting on Swanston Street for ten minutes and being hassled by homeless people, I ring again.

Phone conversation #4:
Me: Sorry to bother you again, are you nearly here?
Her: Yes, sorry we’re taking so long.
Me: You weren’t between Swanston and Russell, were you?
Her: Erm…no.

So I wasn’t drunk, nor am I (hopefully) suffering from glaucoma. We shall find out more about the latter on the 12th June. Though given the 12th June is also the first day after the end of my essays, I may also be very drunk as well (doubly so if it’s bad news at the opticians).

Anyway, eventually we all met up and headed to the Rooftop Bar. Which is a place I adore. As the name suggests, it’s on a rooftop in the middle of Melbourne. Probably about eight storeys up, with a fantastic view of the city and great drinks. And not only do they do cocktails, they’re cheap. The ones I got were approx $8 each, which is about the same price as a pint of beer. After freezing for a couple of hours (and Inya and I scaring everybody with our renditions of various kids TV songs), we moved downstairs to Cookie. Which is very swanky and very grand, although somewhat more expensive than Rooftop. But, it’s in the warm and the cocktails are probably worth the extra cash. They have a huge menu, with over one hundred drinks on it – it’s difficult to know where to start. If I had unlimited time and money in Melbourne, I’d slowly work my way through the list. But, I don’t, so just went for whatever caught my eye. The problem with Cookie is it’s a very busy bar, so after being there for a while there started to be a 15-20 minute wait for drinks. But they brought them over to the tables after ordering, so it wasn’t so bad.

In the end though, after being up since 6am and with work the next morning at 10, I had to call it an early night. Left the bar at around 1-ish, and was in bed by 2. Would have been nice to stay out longer but by this point of the night I was dead on my (blistered) feet. I won’t deny the sleep made it more than worth cutting the night short. Was a good night though, for all that. In a couple of weeks Amy, Aneeta and I will be dancing the night away at some club. Looking forward to it already. I just need to get through my essays first. Sigh.

Casablanca

Rock the Bells

Sir Basil Disco

The humble vodka lemonade

Pimms Passion

Winter fire

2008-06-02T17:34:00.007+10:00

Went out on Friday night with my friends Inya and Aneeta, which was awesome. There was a winter street party advertised in the Herald Sun (again, yes, I know but it's free at work, and I get bored at 7am), and I pestered the two of them to come along, instead of doing essays in Aneeta's case. And though we missed the advertised flappers, it was good. I do love a bit of street theatre. So we had sword swallowing and contact juggling and fire eating and spinning and lots of exciting things like that. Will be good to get back to the UK and actually be able to practice these things again. Though I'll miss stuff like laneway parties from Melbourne. Laneways are incredibly awesome. They have all the best pubs.

After the 'party' (in the loosest sense of the word), we headed over to Chinatown and had a wonderful meal at a place named Banana Palm. Inya and Aneeta had some sort of chilli shrimp soup thing, and I had sizzling tofu with mushroom and carrot, with coconut rice. It was gorgeous. And because I have a ridiculously large appetite, I not only finished the entire large dish, but also had dessert afterwards, while the other two couldn't finish their meals. Once again, I blame the stairs at work. All this exercise is doing me good (but making me hungry).

I've also bought myself a new camera! An expense I wasn't particularly planning on, but after working 39 hours this week, I think I can afford to treat myself. My old one broke after I dropped it last week (yes, beer may have been involved). After taking it into the camwera shop, I was told it would cost $60 just to get it looked at, and then be charged for any parts and repairs on top of that. At the end of the day, it worked out roughly the same price to just buy a new camera, so I did. I love it - the photos from Friday turned out really well. I stuck with Fujifilm, and am glad I did. The new camera is a Fujifilm F47fd, and is small and cute and works really well. Plus it's fun playing with all the new photo settings (simple things please simple minds).

Today is the first day of Swot Vac (week-long holiday so we can all revise and stuff). I spent most of it asleep, then read an entire Marian Keyes novel. A productive use of my time, I feel.

Off to Brunswick to watch Doctor Who tonight. Haven't had the chance to go for ages. Should be awesome.

I have a cunning plan

2008-05-29T17:45:00.004+10:00

I love Melbourne. I don’t want to leave. But, I quite want to go home as well. This poses somewhat of a dilemma.

Therefore, I have formulated a plan of utter genius. Move the UK into the Tasman Sea. Simple.

It'll only be about an hour's plane journey from Melbourne - Loughborough, so I could pop home regularly.

Obviously, the country needs to be flipped upside down so Scotland stays cold and the south (now north) stays relatively warm, but that’s ok. And Christmas would now be in the middle of summer, which would be fab. Having my birthday in winter perhaps not so great, but as my birthday coincides every year with both Glastonbury and Wimbledon, I doubt the weather would be much different from what I’m used to.

And my time at Melbourne Uni is now completely over, other than various essays that need handing in. My last teaching experience in Australia involved being read Old English by an American, which sums up the whole bizarre experience quite well, really. Was a bit of an anti-climax though, I think my brain was somehow expecting fireworks and some sort of parade, not just walking out of the Alice Hoy building and getting on a tram home.

In other news, at least three people have decided to follow my book/film lists. Which is quite awesome really – I can now persuade myself I am hideously influential and important. I also then won’t have to feel guilty when I watch DVDs instead of doing my essays.

Weirdness

2008-05-29T13:49:00.006+10:00

I am about to go to my last ever class at Melbourne University.

WHERE HAS MY YEAR GONE?!?!?!?!

I don't want to leave Melbourne. And though I've pissed around all year and taken it far too much for granted, I love the uni. Leaving QMUL last year was fine, as I always knew I'd be back. But now I'm in the final stages of my life in Melbourne, and I don't like it one bit.

I want to stay, damnit.

More film stuff

2008-05-28T22:47:00.003+10:00

Two things about me. Firstly, I’ve never been one to make things easy for myself. Secondly, I see signs everywhere. Ok, so they may be complete coincidences, but I reckon living my life according to these makes everything much more interesting. And at least I can accept it’s all a load of wank.

My point is this. The day after I decide to watch the AFI’s top one hundred films, the Herald Sun (yes, I know, but it’s free at work), publishes their own list. I take this as a marvellous coincidence, and I take this as a sign I should perhaps further my filmic education via a slightly different route. Although it’s completely populist and probably includes absolutely nothing of any artistic merit, sometimes that can be a lot of fun. Part of my issue with the AFI list is the fact that the majority of the films simply don’t interest me – I know everyone obsesses over how wonderful the Godfather supposedly is, but gangster films are just not something I’ve ever really found that enthralling. And when the Herald Sun starts their article with,

“Clark Forbes has compiled this list with one test in mind: will they keep you in your seat until the final credits roll? You bet they will, and that’s why he has left out some of the usual suspects – Citizen Kane for example – worthy perhaps, but deadly dull”

I decided that maybe being populist is a good thing. I know it’s probably complete sacrilege, but Citizen Kane does look bloody boring. And while the AFI films may be artistic and groundbreaking and have deep meaning, quite often I just want to be entertained. So I’ve given myself another one hundred films to sit through.

This is my other problem. Most classic films never have any sort of intrigue for me any more, simply because of modern sensibilities. From my perspective, The Simpsons had taken the piss out of Planet of the Apes (“from chimpan A to chimpanzee”) before I’d even heard of the original film.

I can think of two films where the twist has actually been a surprise to me. One was Fight Club. The other was The Sixth Sense, which I was probably too young to completely appreciate when I first watched it. For example, Bruce Willis gets shot in the first scene, the next shows him walking down the street.

Me: Didn’t he just get killed?
Mum: Obviously not.

Cue the ending of the film.

Me: Told you he got killed at the beginning.

So take that, world. An eleven-year-old guessed the ending of The Sixth Sense within five minutes. God, I was a precocious brat back then. Not much has changed.

So to be honest, Citizen Kane holds no interest for me. I know Rosebud is his bloody childhood sledge, I know Planet of the Apes was earth all along, and I know Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father. It all takes the excitement out of watching a lot of the films.

Turns out Baudrillard was right all along. Bloody simulacra.

And now because I have two film lists, I decided I really should try and get myself an alternative book list. While the BBC list is a great collection of books, they’re not exactly great literature. I love Harry Potter, but I’m not about to start claiming the series should be in the top twenty books of all time. I eventually tracked down a Guardian list that’s incredibly wordy and literary. And a reasonable majority of the books I’ve never even heard of, which is always a fun start.

So while it’s a lot of extra work for me, I can now be populist and artistic. Which is very exciting. After all, I’m the person who has the new Marian Keyes novel stacked next to the original medieval language version of Le Morte D’Arthur. Though I doubt T.S. Eliot would agree with me, each is as good as the other, albeit in very different ways.

All fun and games until someone loses an eye

2008-05-26T23:01:00.005+10:00

Melbourne Uni offers free eye tests, which is a win-win situation for all concerned. I get my eyes checked for free, and some student gets experience in the field of eye testing. Unfortunately, the entire experience left me severely traumatised.

Firstly, I do indeed need glasses. I really am starting to get old.

The major problem was the fact that it ended up really being a complete eye test. Fun parts of that included having iodine stuck in my eyes, to test how dry they are. Basically, they make you cry (with the iodine, not that it was strictly needed. The minute they even mentioned the stuff my eyes started watering). They then time how long it takes your eyes to reabsorb the tears, and go from there. Apparently my eyes are exceptionally dry, and I was recommended eyedrops. Thanks to early childhood trauma, I have a (perfectly rational, in my opinion) phobia of the bloody things.

“I hate eyedrops,” I say. “Can’t use them, they freak me out.”
“Oh dear,” the optician replies. “You’re really not going to like me in a minute.”

So then the pressure of my eyes was tested. Using eyedrops. I’m not entirely sure it was strictly necessary, and starting to wonder if the trainee ophthalmologist was just a sadistic bitch who couldn’t get on the dentistry course (actually, she was lovely, but people who force eyedrops on me don’t tend to be very popular). So cue much freaking out on my behalf, while she literally had to pin me down and force my eyes open.

After that excitement, my prescription had to be re-checked by a qualified (and slightly bemused due to finding me crying and shaking after my eyedrop ordeal) ophthalmologist, to make sure the trainee wasn’t about to send me blind. He was a hot man in a suit, which is always awesome. And while the glasses she had recommended were fine, something else happened.

I don’t quite understand it all, but they valiantly attempted to explain it to me. Basically, the optic nerve is made up of two parts, and they often measure the ratio of one to the other. The problem with my eyes is my optic nerves are asymmetrical, meaning there’s quite a large difference between the two ratios. When it gets to 2, there’s a serious problem. Mine are at 1.5, and they want to do many more tests on me in a couple of weeks, presumably to make sure I’m not about to die of brain cancer or something. I have a horrible suspicion these further tests will probably include many many more eyedrops. I’m dreading it already. So if anybody wants a good laugh, pop along to the Melbourne Uni eye clinic on the 12th June, ready for me to emerge an emotional wreck from the tortures I will no doubt have to undergo.

On the plus side, it’s entirely possible that I just have odd optical nerves. Apparently they’re quite large anyway, which could explain the asymmetry. But, they have to check anyway, just to make sure there’s nothing wrong. Bloody typical really isn’t it? Great way to get the blokes. I may not have huge breasts, but you should check out the size of my optical nerves, boys. They’re whoppers.

Having ridiculously large optical nerves also explains my life so far to date. Big optical nerves = big blind spot, which starts to explain just how it really is possible for me to continually walk into thinks everyone else things are in obvious view. So I’m not clumsy, I actually have a medical reason. I might try that one at work sometime, see what they say next time I walk into the corner of yet another one of the bloody tables.

In other news, we had a Eurovision party last night – which was brilliant. A bunch of various European-linked Melbourne Uni societies met in a pub on Lygon Street, along with what seemed to be the great and the good of the Melbourne gay community, and several slightly bemused people who wandered into an onslaught of camp old nonsense. And it was fantastic. Although the show was originally on Saturday night in Europe, to be shown live in Australia it would have to be broadcast at about 5am, so we waited until the following night. I love SBS now – turns out it does show more than dodgy soft-core porn and bizarre Asian art house films (sometimes both at once). It was shown as-live, complete with commentary from Sir Terry of Wogan. So I drank ridiculous amounts of beer, then staggered to Café Notturno and had a wonderful pizza. No idea what it was, but it was very good. I think I may have even phoned people to inform them of this wondrous event (it made perfect sense at the time). I’d forgotten just how great pizza can be after copious amounts of beer. Russia won – I can’t even remember their entry. All I can recollect is the fact that the UK were surprisingly good, I had an argument with some random over the colours of the Latvian flag (I was right), someone hanging washing, there seemed to be some sort of wedding dress agenda, and that the pirates really should have won. I’m presuming the Russian entry was one of the many Eastern European, blonde, tanned, fake breasted women in a small dress warbling away. They all merged into one for me, I certainly couldn’t tell them apart. Beer simply exacerbated the problem.

Here follow the last great photos taken by my darling camera. I dropped it one too many times, and now it no longer works. *sob*

Film Mission

2008-05-25T00:35:00.002+10:00

In addition to my 100 books mission, I've also decided I really need to get a decent education in film watching. I've never got round to watching many "classic" films, as none of them look like they'd interest me. But, this is silly, as they may be marvelous. I'm not convinced on that fact, but the point of the matter really is I want to see what all the fuss is about. And if I can read the 100 greatest books, I should make a similar effort with film.

So, taking AFI's 100 Years, 100 Films as a starting point, I'm following this list:

1. Citizen Kane (1941)
2. Godfather, The (1972)
3. Casablanca (1942)
4. Raging Bull (1980)
5. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
6. ~~Gone with the Wind (1939)~~
7. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
8. Schindler’s List (1993)
9. Vertigo (1958)
10. ~~Wizard of Oz, The (1939)~~
11. City Lights (1931)
12. Searchers, The (1956)
13. ~~Star Wars (1977)~~
14. Psycho (1960)
15. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
16. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
17. Graduate, The (1967)
18. General, The (1927)
19. On the Waterfront (1954)
20. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
21. Chinatown (1974)
22. Some Like it Hot (1959)
23. Grapes of Wrath, The (1940)
24. E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (1982)
25. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
26. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
27. High Noon (1952)
28. All About Eve (1950)
29. Double Indemnity (1944)
30. Apocalypse Now (1979)
31. Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
32. Godfather Part II, The (1974)
33. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
34. ~~Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)~~
35. Annie Hall (1977)
36. Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
37. Best Years of Our Lives, The (1946)
38. Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
39. Dr. Strangelove (1964)
40. ~~Sound of Music, The (1965)~~
41. King Kong (1933)
42. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
43 Midnight Cowboy (1969)
44. Philadelphia Story, The (1940)
45. Shane (1953)
46. It Happened One Night (1934)
47. Streetcar Named Desire, A (1951)
48. Rear Window (1954)
49. Intolerance (1916)
50. ~~Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)~~
51. West Side Story (1961)
52. Taxi Driver (1976)
53. Deer Hunter, The (1978)
54. M*A*S*H* (1970)
55. North by Northwest (1959)
56. Jaws (1975)
57. Rocky (1976)
58. Gold Rush, The (1925)
59. Nashville (1975)
60. Duck Soup (1933)
61. Sullivan’s Travels (1941)
62. American Graffiti (1973)
63. ~~Cabaret (1972)~~
64. Network (1976)
65. ~~African Queen, The (1951)~~
66. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
67. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
68. Unforgiven (1992)
69. Tootsie (1982)
70. Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
71. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
72. Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
73. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
74. Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
75. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
76. ~~Forrest Gump (1994)~~
77. All the President’s Men (1976)
78. Modern Times (1936)
79. Wild Bunch, The (1969)
80. Apartment, The (1960)
81. Spartacus (1960)
82. Sunrise (1927)
83. ~~Titanic (1997)~~
84. Easy Rider (1969)
85. Night at the Opera, A (1935)
86. Platoon (1986)
87. 12 Angry Men (1957)
88. Bringing Up Baby (1938)
89. ~~Sixth Sense, The (1999)~~
90. Swing Time (1936)
91. Sophie’s Choice (1982)
92. Goodfellas (1990)
93. French Connection, The (1971)
94. ~~Pulp Fiction (1994)~~
95. Last Picture Show, The (1971)
96. Do the Right Thing (1989)
97. Blade Runner (1982)
98. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
99. ~~Toy Story (1995)~~
100. Ben Hur (1959)

Yes, I know. I’m rubbish.

My kingdom for a horse!

2008-05-24T23:27:00.005+10:00

Richard III (aka Richard III: Unhinged) was awesome. Absolutely bloody awesome. All theatre productions should end with the stage being set alight. And sword fights.

Brendan O'Connor, playing Richard was wonderful. Not completely over-the-top ala Laurence Olivier, as is so easy to do. He was brilliant. And then of course there was Margaret, who obviously completely relished the fact to soar into utter madness.

Though the accents took a little while to get used to. Half of them had decided to attempt English accents (though at least two of them bizarrely came out South African), while the other half didn’t bother and kept their original Aussie voices. Seeing the future Henry VII speaking in a ridiculously broad country Australian accent ("bloody Richard!") is something remarkable to behold. And thanks to the not-so-wonderful set design, there was one point where he tripped over some camouflage netting while descending stairs and nearly broke his neck. Which could have been an interesting twist to the play really.

Good use of space though – there were some balconies over by each side of the stage, which they used as part of the performance space, which was great as we got some levels. They also used the side doors to the theatre itself. So we had stuff like the mayor walking down the aisles and shaking hands with various people sitting in the audience. And though part of the set was built with MDF, they used the stone wall at the back of the actual Athenaeum theatre to recreate the castle cloisters look. Which was nice.

The best bit was by far the fact they decided to make it a really visual production. So we had the fire, we had lots of sword fighting, and Richard's vision scene was really well done. they had him sleep in an actual bed, with the ghosts then coming up through the bed. Having Lady Anne appear in a wedding dress, kiss Richard and then start foaming blood from the mouth was really quite vile. But that's the beauty of Shakespeare - it's written to be utterly gruesome and bloodthirsty, as well as being incredibly artistic and literary.

My one problem would be with the child actors in the performance. Without wanting to be overly harsh, three out of the four were cast because of their relationship to various members of the production, and weren't that great. It would perhaps have been better to get some better child actors in. But they're not in the play all that much, so it was easy enough to ignore them.

I'm liking the Shakespeare so far. Hopefully Hamlet next, when the Bell Shakespeare Company come to Melbourne (or I go to Sydney). I'm suspecting it'll be easy to get roughly halfway, then get increasingly difficult. Stuff like Romeo & Juliet and Macbeth is always going to be simple enough to find a production of. By the time we get to Henry VIII and King John, I feel things may get rather tricky.

You shall go to the ball

2008-05-23T19:11:00.003+10:00

My dress ended up being ‘Sugar Plum Fairy on acid’, which I personally think is a fabulous look that I should attempt more often. Monochrome is awesome, lace is awesome and netting is awesome. Combined the three are somewhat insane, but do, I think, suit my bizarre personality. And for once, I actually think I looked ok. Which was fantastic. As were my shoes. I went shopping earlier in the day and probably spent far too much, but they’re lovely. And I’m hoping will last many years to come.

The night started off at JCH. Where I re-met my arch nemesis – free champagne. This time, I triumphed. Three glasses, and no vomiting or blackouts. Success. So we chilled out for a while, drank free champagne, then toddled off outside where our limos awaited us. That was utterly fantastic – I’ve never been in a limousine before. So we chilled out, kicked back and were driven to San Remo Ballroom.

The Ball itself was brilliant. Same as usual balls, mostly – lots of drinking, lots of dancing and some great food. For once, the vegetarian option was brilliant. The entrée course was pumpkin soup, the main was spinach and ricotta cannelloni, and the dessert was a gorgeous chocolate pudding type thing. And wonderfully, from our table of ten, I was the only one who chose to drink the bottle of red wine that was so kindly left for us. So after polishing that off, I then headed to the bar and slowly worked my way through the free bar tab. This may explain why for once in my life I actually chose to dance. And I enjoyed it. My new shoes are quite definitely dancing shoes. Incredibly, my heels didn’t hurt, the balls of my feet didn’t hurt, and my only complaint would be that my toes got a bit pinched. But the shoes looked good, which is all that really matters. I love them.

After much drinking (and bizarrely texting multiple people about the Nutbush and the Backstreet Boys), we staggered (quite literally, and in bare feet) over to my all-time favourite bar in Melbourne, Bimbo Deluxe. Where I promptly got IDed. And as we’d been told our ball wristbands would get us in everywhere automatically, I hadn’t brought any with me. Which was incredibly annoying. But, on the plus side, as our party contained a large number of incredibly drunk teenage girls, in reasonably revealing formal wear, the bouncers took pity of us. I got told if I was willing to go home and get my ID, they’d buy us a free round of drinks. So naturally everyone was suddenly willing to contribute to my taxi fare home, and when I returned avec my passport, we treated ourselves to incredibly expensive drinks. Still not entirely sure what they were or what was in them, but they were peach flavoured cocktails and tasted very nice. And as it was Bimbos, we then ate lots of pizza, and incredible amounts of beer. How nice of them to relax the dress code and let us all in wearing suits. Shows there really is a first time for everything – I’ve never been told I’m too dressed up to get into somewhere before.

It was nice to meet a bunch of the new freshers in college as well. I haven’t been to any college events for ages, as most of them are held by the student club I’m no longer allowed to go. They all seem suitably insane, which of course I approve of. The rest of the night consisted of me having the drunken idea that 4am is a wonderful time to upload the evening’s photos onto Facebook, bizarre phone conversations and general drunken ramblings. All night I’d been convinced I wasn’t actually very drunk, but the next morning I woke up from a considerable drunken stupor. Only just in time for my 2:15 tutorial as well, oops.

A very good night though. Had forgotten how much fun stuff like this can be. Posh frocks, free-flowing alcohol and dancing. What’s not to love?

More here. And no, I was not back before midnight.

Sleep is for tortoises

2008-05-22T23:33:00.005+10:00

I'm slowly changing my mind about the new hair. After constantly washing it, the stripyness has completely faded, and I'm slowly getting used to the fact I'm a brunette again. Am still not very happy about the length though, it'll take ages to grow out again. On the whole though, I like it. I'm not in extreme despair about it as I was the other day. Just wishing it would grow a bit faster.

The JCH Ball was last night, which was awesome. And I went to see Richard III tonight, which was also fantastic. Will blog properly when I'm not half-asleep. Got back incredibly late last night, and am still recovering. Plus I have work tomorrow morning at 7am, argh.

For some bizarre reason, I've managed to get a hectic social life at the moment. Which is fantastic, but co-incides with the week I have to work 37 hours. And write essays. Typical - the week I was barely working nobody felt like going out, but the minute I start getting busy, everybody bloody decides they want to go for a drink. So my sleep is somewhat suffering at the moment. But who cares? I'm having fun.

I've also added a list down the sidebar of this blog to keep track of my Shakespearing. Which is my new favourite invented verb.

Hair nightmare

2008-05-20T20:34:00.007+10:00

I made the mistake of going to the hairdresser today. It did not go well.

Her: How short do you want it?
Me: I want to keep most of the length, just trim a few centimetres off the end. And sort the layers out
Her: Ok *proceeds to cut six inches off the end of my hair*
Me: AAAARGH!

So while it used to be halfway down my back, it now barely reaches my shoulders. It's also brown. Very brown in places. And slightly stripy, thanks to the foils. To be fair, I quite like the colour at the bottom. But the top is incredibly stripy and in light of today's news, I'm worried I'll get mistaken for a Tasmanian Tiger.

On the plus side, everyone at work was very nice about it. And apparently it's "much better than the blonde". I LIKED the blonde. And the blonde was useful for things - like getting away with not having bought a tram ticket, or getting a seat on the train, or getting an extension on my rent payments (I know, how unbelievably feminist of me). That's never gonna happen now. Stupid hair.

Of Autumn leaves and bin liners

2008-05-20T01:16:00.006+10:00

It doesn't happen very often, but once in a while I'm reminded that Australia really is a different country. On the whole it's the exact same language, same outlook on life, same crap available in the shops; I tend to forget I'm actually on the other side of the world. And while the accents tend to be a bit funny, it's certainly no different to being somewhere like, I don't know, Birmingham. Apart from the fact the weather tends to be a bit nicer. But today at work I had an absolute nightmare trying to have a conversation with one of the bar guys.

Me: I need to sweep up the leaves outside. Can I have a bin liner?
Him: A what?
Me: A bin liner.
Him: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Me: You know, a plastic sack.
Him: What?
Me: What?
Him: Erykah, I have no idea what you're saying to me.
Me: What the hell do you call them then?
Him: Call what?
Me: Those big black bags you put in the dustbin.
Him: Oh, a garbage bag.

Bloody English language. Far too difficult sometimes, it's hard to believe neither have us can be completely oblivious to what the other is saying, although we're both speaking the exact same language. I refuse to use the phrase 'garbage bag' though, simply because it sounds ridiculous.

I used to love autumn, but I've gone off it quite a lot now. I'm not quite sure when exactly it happened, but I think spending twenty minutes sweeping up dead leaves from outside Café Trevi this evening may possibly have something to do with it.

In other news, some nutter (in a good way. Probably) keeps sending me surreal text messages. And emails. And will be accompanying me to see Timon of Athens in October. On the whole, I think this is probably a Good Thing. Though slightly bizarre, not least because it's very mature of me to actually forward-plan. Still, we shall see what happens when I get home. I will probably either talk far too much, drink too much, do something utterly moronic (place your bets now), or manage some spectacular combination of the three. Thus meaning I will never see the poor bloke again, as he'll be wondering why on earth he ever tried to be friends with the strange drunk girl and avoid the East Midlands for the rest of time lest we all turn out to be garrulous alcoholics. (There, are you happy now?!)

My Shakespearean Quest

2008-05-19T13:23:00.006+10:00

I came to the realisation recently that I have seen shockingly few Shakespeare plays performed on the stage. I've read multitudes of them, but never actually seen the vast majority. So one of my new missions is to see every Shakespeare play performed on stage over the next few years.

~~Struck-through~~ = plays I've seen
Italicised = plays I've booked tickets for
Underlined = plays I've read

All's Well That Ends Well
Antony and Cleopatra
As You Like It
The Comedy of Errors
Coriolanus
Cymbeline
Hamlet
Henry IV, Part I
Henry IV, Part II
Henry V
Henry VI, Part I
Henry VI, Part II
Henry VI, Part III
Henry VIII
Julius Caesar
King John
King Lear
Love's Labour's Lost
Macbeth
Measure for Measure
The Merchant of Venice
The Merry Wives of Windsor
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Much Ado about Nothing
Othello
Pericles
Richard II
Richard III
Romeo and Juliet
The Taming of the Shrew
The Tempest
Timon of Athens
Titus Andronicus
Troilus and Cressida
~~Twelfth Night~~
The Two Gentlemen of Verona
The Two Noble Kinsmen
The Winter's Tale.

I'm hoping I may also be able to see Love's Labour's Lost, The Taming of the Shrew and The Merchant of Venice by the RSC this summer, but nothing's definite yet.

I've booked my Richard III tickets, and will be off to see that on Thursday evening. If they cut out Brackenbury I will not be happy, he's quite obviously the best Shakespearean character ever written (ok ok, I'm biased). It'll be interesting to see an Australian approach to Shakespeare rather than the traditional English one. I'm still hoping I might be able to see some Shakespeare during my time in Singapore and/or Dubai, but nothing seems to be avaiable at the moment. This may change though. I still have plans to see Hamlet in Australia, but am sorely tempted to combine it with my trip to Sydney and go and watch it performed in the Opera House. Depends on cost, really.

Currently reading Interview with the Vampire. So far, not overly impressed, to be honest. It's been surprisingly dull, I'm hoping it'll pick up. Then again, I'm not a huge fan of modern fantasy/horror novels, so it may never pique my interest. At least it's reasonably short, and an easy read.

Marsupials of Melbourne

2008-05-18T23:31:00.002+10:00

Talking to Inya today, we hit that always-entertaining discussion of which six people we would have at our fantasy dinner party. And because I'm a Lit nerd, I had to eventually split mine into two lists.

Celebrity dinner party:
1) Derek Jacobi
2) Stephen Fry
3) Christopher Biggins
4) Bernard Cribbins
5) Jo Brand
6) Ross Noble

Literary Dinner party:
1) Marian Keyes
2) Mary Shelley
3) Oscar Wilde
4) Joe Orton
5) Alan Bennet
6) Jane Austen

The first is (barely) feasable, in a bizarre sort of world where people of that calibre would actually want to hang out with me. The second is just a collection of my favourite literary figures, in a combination I think would produce the best interaction. Though I'm 99% positive Joe Orton and Oscar Wilde would probably end up going home together at the end of the night, so perhaps other halves shouldn't be allowed. I'd rather not wake up with a hammer embedded in my skull. I thought far too long on this topic - if I ever get myself a TARDIS and some psychic paper, the first thing I'm doing is holding these parties. Ainsley Harriot can do the cooking, simply because he makes those nice chocolate bars.

This discussion occured in the cafe of Melbourne Museum. We'd originally headed there to see the Neighbours Kitchen, as Inya's never seen it, and I wanted some comedy photos. And they've bloody got rid of it! Six months to refurbish the Melbourne exhibit, only to end up with it looking exactly the same, with the notable omission of the incredibly cool kitchen. Not happy. That bloody kitchen was a source of pilgramage to many British tourists - we're not bothered about Phar Lap or stuffed kangaroos. Give us our tacky blue kitchen and 1980s wedding cake anyday, damnit. Not only that, they'd got rid of the "church" of Phar Lap. Gone are the amusing velvet curtains and revered silence. Now he's just a horse in a box taking up valuable kitchen space.

So, instead, we sat in the cafe, drank incredibly bad coffee, and mused about who would be at our celebrity dinner party, discussed men, and made plans to go to the Dandenong Ranges in a few weeks. So a productive morning, really. We then made the mistake of going to the museum shop, where my continuing bizarre mood was a bad influence, and proceeded to behave like lunatics for the rest of the morning. We're so grown-up and immature it astounds even me sometimes. After invading the shop and behaving worse than most of the children there, we eventually bought animal ears, and continued causing havoc out into Carlton Gardens.

As ever, more can be found on my photo page here.

On the plus side, our trip to the museum also informed me that Richard III will soon be performed in Melbourne. So I'm buying a ticket as soon as Ticketmaster decides to start working. And through my searches I've also discovered that Hamlet will be in Melbourne in July. I don't think seeing three different productions in 2008 is overkill, it's a fantastic play. And it'll be interesting to see the three different ways it's approached.

I also made the severe mistake of walking home via JayJays, and leaving the store with $103 less on my credit card. Oops. Though in my defence, I'm looking forward to a ridiculously lengthy winter, I need some suitable clothes. None of last winter's fit, due to the fact my arse has shrunk. So it's a celebratory buying, really. The fact my arse is now two sizes smaller is a cause for excess spending. And they're very nice jeans, if we're being honest.

Home Thoughts from Abroad

2008-05-17T18:41:00.009+10:00

O, to be in England
Now that April 's there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In England—now!

And after April, when May follows,
And the whitethroat builds, and all the swallows!
Hark, where my blossom'd pear-tree in the hedge
Leans to the field and scatters on the clover
Blossoms and dewdrops—at the bent spray's edge—
That 's the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,
Lest you should think he never could recapture
The first fine careless rapture!
And though the fields look rough with hoary dew,
All will be gay when noontide wakes anew
The buttercups, the little children's dower
—Far brighter than this gaudy melon-flower!

Robert Browning.

Yes, I'm about to complain about the weather once again. Though to be fair, the apparent temperature today was 4 degrees, I think for once I'm actually allowed to consider it an genuinely cold day. The thing that annoys me is everyone going, "You're in Australia, I bet the weather's lovely!" In Darwin, I'm sure it's glorious. Here, all the way at the very bottom of the island, it's bloody cold. Australia's a big place, and the sunny northern tropics are a long way away. Think the difference between Athens and Copenhagen.

To add insult to injury, not only has it been cold, but also rained all day. At this rate I'm going to stop believing these claims of 'drought'. In the past 24 hours we've had 20mm of rain, and it's been non-stop all day. Staring out of the window at work, I honestly could have been back at home in the UK. Which in a way was nice, as I still miss home, but it reminded me of my main dread about going back - the horrible weather. I hate going out in the morning, getting soaked and then my jeans never quite being dry for the rest of the day.

Going out in the rain can be fantastic, but only if you've got the guarantee of a combination of at least two of the following upon your return:

* a duvet
* a good book
* a bath
* a radiator
* a mug of hot chocolate
* a bowl of soup
* warm clothes

(and of course, somebody to provide you with these things. It's not the same if you have to get them yourself, damnit).

I have none of these. Well, I have a good book (I hope) and a duvet, which will have to do. But there's no baths at the hostel (I haven't had a bath for nearly a year, it's been showers every day instead), I tend to have arguments with people in my room if I try and turn the radiator up, I have no soup or hot chocolate, and I look like a tosser walking around wearing a scarf indoors. And I certainly don't have anybody to get any of this stuff for me. Turns out stubborn independence can have its drawbacks sometimes. But for the most part, not. Especially as it means I can do things like sod off around the world for over a year. Which has all those wonderful benfits such as being character-building and life-changing, yada yada. And provides me with a spectacular photo album with which to piss people off when I get home.

It's the Janet Clarke Hall ball on Wednesday, which I'm hoping should be fun. And if offered free champagne, I will not drink it. Or at least eat some food beforehand. Sounds like a good night though - start off at college, get limos to San Remo ballroom, then end up at my all-time favourite Melbourne haunt, Bimbo Deluxe - home of the chocolate pizza. And all for the bargain price of $70. Fun times ahead. And my dress is fantastic. Whether I look fantastic wearing it is another matter entirely, but hey. The dress is still nice.

Finally, my new favourite word is subfuscous. How awesome is that?

Subfuscous
adjective
Slightly dark, dusky, or sombre.

Heads, heads, heads, heads, heads.

2008-05-16T19:02:00.006+10:00

I'm bored. And cold. And tired. But mostly bored.

I came to the realisation last night that my life is Bridget Jones's Diary, written as a dramatic monologue by Tom Stoppard when very drunk. V. bad. Everything has since made much more sense. I was also incredibly hyperactive, on some sort of delayed sugar rush, and trying to explain the whole theory to my (very patient) roommates. They now think I'm insane. I'm beginning to think that maybe in future it might be a good idea to stop just saying every bloody thing that comes into my head, and instead think for a moment, as my train of thought (and therefore speech) was as follows:

"It's all Tom bloody Stoppard's fault he wrote Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead which has Gary Oldman in Gary Oldman was also in Prick up your Ears which is a very good film but sad I saw it at the Phoenix in Leicester about a year ago because they had an exhibition on I also went to the Doctor Who exhibition at the same time which turned out to be rubbish I wonder if Gary Oldman will ever be in Doctor Who did you know some people think Tom Stoppard wrote Kinda even though he didn't and neither did Kate Bush? Anyway, as I was saying, it's all Tom Stoppard's fault".

So free associating like mad for about two hours, much to the amusement/bemusement of everybody there. I'm a psychoanalyst's dream.

I blame the sandwich I bought from 7-11. It was obviously being sold for only $3 due to drug contamination. I haven't been that hyperactive for ages though, it was bizarre. It must be post-essay elation. Or, I really am mad - therefore I can't be, as mad people don't think they're mad. Or something. I never coped with getting the whole way through Catch-22.

But I digress. Yet again. My original point was to be that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is a very good play. Ok, I've never seen it on stage, the film is as close as I've ever managed to get, but considering it's directed by the author, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it's a pretty accurate representation of his original vision. But don't expect any easy answers - because answers are the one thing it manages to avoid. It's about fate, and destiny in many ways. Anybody who's read Hamlet knows exactly what's going to happen to the two by the end of the play, yet it doesn't make it any less sad when it finally happens. There's no way to escape their fate and the play doesn't try and tackle this - it's about how they get there, not why. And along the way it deals with words and language and the point of existence and lots of nice and simple concepts like that. To be honest, perhaps not the best thing to choose to watch at 10:30pm, but after the atrocity of Bram Stoker's Dracula I had to remind myself just why I've always thought Gary Oldman is a good actor. And he is, thankfully, as are the rest of the actors in R&G.

I'm also slowly falling apart. After four years of avoiding wearing my glasses, I had the sudden thought the other day that I couldn't actually see the computer screen. So, I'm having my eyes checked in about a week. On the plus side, it's free. On the negative side, it's done by a bunch of fellow students, so will take three times as long as they're all still training. Still, saves me money. Hoping I don't need to actually start wearing glasses now though, I look terrible in them. I'm too small and no matter what frames I try, they always look like novelty oversized clown glasses. Still, maybe I won't need them. I could do without the expense, if nothing else.

Leicestershirian Heroes

2008-05-15T21:02:00.009+10:00

Nicole Kidman. Simply because there is Oscar-winning filmic evidence of her standing on the platform of the Great Central Railway in Loughborough screaming, "I'm DYING IN THIS TOWN."

We've all been there, love.

00:58. Quite possibly one of the most accurate cinematic moments of all time.

I've sat on that bench. And quite probably served people food on that train. Not at all relevant, but an incredibly minor claim to fame.

Fictional
Adrian Mole. East Midlands Hero. I vote we start now for the campaign to name the airport after him.

Celebrities

Danny Wallace. Same as above, with the added bonus of not being a fictional character, as well as a Loughborough lad. It’s slightly disconcerting to read his books and discover he’s reverse-stalking me, by seemingly living everywhere I seem to end up before I do.

Gary Lineker.

The Attenborough brothers

Graham Chapman (seemingly having a Nicole Kidman moment)

Kate O'Mara. Aka the bloody Rani! No wonder she was always in such a bad mood.

Joe Orton

Historical figures

The Elephant Man. Erm. Perhaps that’s not quite such a good thing.

Daniel Lambert. Again, let’s not focus on him. Though I have sat in his chair (which again, nobody will appreciate unless having seen said chair, and if you're not from the Shire you won't have).

Robert Dudley, who may or may not (and lets face it, probably not, but that ruins the anecdote) have been nobbing Elizabeth I. And was played by the gorgeous Joseph Fiennes, so it's all good.

Lady Jane Grey. Queen for nine days. Ha!

Musicians
Kasabian.

The Young Knives - famous for bringing the world the wonderful song that is Loughborough Suicide.

"Well it is cold, cold, cold
And I think I’m going to die in here
Considering Loughborough suicide
Which I’m definitely going to do this year
And if you take a look outside
Then the answers to your questions seem quite clear
That you may as well leave
Because there’s nothing else to do around here"

Englebert Humperdinck

Showaddywaddy

The Mack (as in "Return of the") (aka Mark Morrison)

Randoms

Mr Motivator

Thomas Cook. Random fact for the day - the first ever Thomas Cook package holiday was from Leicester to Loughborough. Which proves nothing good about Loughborough, just that Leicester must have been an even crapper place at the time.

Gok Wan.

Bill Maynard (aka Claude Jeremiah Greengrass)

So there you have it - the finest talent that Leicestershire can offer. On the whole, they're all a bit crap. But there's the odd flash of brilliance, and a certain charm. Bit like the place itself really.

Ways in which I have grown up:

2008-05-15T19:55:00.000+10:00

In just 42 days I will stop being a teenager. (Though 44 really, as I’m claiming I technically don’t turn twenty until the 28th June. I lost an entire day en-route to Australia. Plus time-zone differences - I wasn’t born until the afternoon of the 26th, that’s roughly midnight of the 27th here in Australia).

I have a wisdom tooth. Just one so far, and that seems to be going quite nicely. No, I don’t want to hear any horror stories about the time your sister/brother/aunt/parents/next-door-neighbour/dog had an extraction and nearly bled to death on the operating table. Or that they needed thirty-seven stitches, or that they couldn’t eat anything other than soup for a week due to the fact they were continually in agonising pain and coughing up blood. Though to be fair, that does sound like a fantastic weight-loss plan.

I’ve started drinking beer. Initialised as a protest against the shocking lack of decent cider in Australia, but now I’ve realised I actually quite like it.

I also drink coffee. Couldn’t stand the stuff a year ago, but it became my faithful friend working 6pm-4am shifts at Café Trevi.

I like spicy food. Used to find chillies and suchlike far too hot, now I find myself adding them to pasta along with copious amounts of pepper. However, this could just be the result of beer and coffee slowly destroying my taste buds.

I haven’t had any disastrous relationships for a significantly long time. Ok, so I also haven’t had any relationships for a significantly long time, but it still counts. I’ve got enough sense to have realised I don’t want to get involved with anybody when I’m due home in a matter of weeks. I think that’s a surprisingly mature decision, especially for me.

I’ve held down a steady job for nearly a year, without walking out (which I’ve come close to on multiple occasions).

And finally…

(prepare yourself for a shock)

I ate a sun-dried tomato the other day.

And I quite liked it.

What the hell is happening to me? I don’t like all this grown-up behaviour.

Spending money (again)...

2008-05-14T20:24:00.000+10:00

Spent too much money today. Yet again. The plus side is that it’s stuff I actually need, and therefore have no need to feel guilty about it. Supré is a fabulous place. I got a new coat, that’s more suited to current Melbourne weather than my ridiculous Donna Noble-esque arctic one. For now, at least. I fully expect to be clothed for Arctic conditions by the time July rolls around. I also bought a black jumper that I can wear to work when it gets chilly (which is an XS, I don’t think I’ve ever owned anything that small before. I’m going to really miss the workout those bloody stairs at work give me), and a few long-sleeved tops. And an abundance of various hats, scarves and gloves, as I’m very skilled at losing them and hopefully will have at least something findable next time it’s chilly. As my hands are always freezing, I’ve also got some hobo-style fingerless gloves, so I can not be cold and type at the same time, they’re a wonderful invention. They’re not coming off again until I go to Singapore.

What’s really worrying is that everyone’s been obsessing about the lovely English weather recently. Looked it up, and it only hit 23. It was 20 degrees today, and I wore a jumper. This is definitely not good; I’m going to contract hypothermia. It’s only recently I’ve realised how much I hate being cold, back in the UK it was so much second nature that I never noticed it. Now I’ve had the joys of 40 degree weather I’ve realised that the sun is good, even if it burns me.

I got to meet up with my friend Inya today to have a good natter over cake and coffee, which is always great. There’s a coffee shop in Flinders Street station that we’ve frequented since she arrived in Melbourne, originally only picking it as it was the nearest. Now we’ve fallen in love with the place, and I’m really going to miss it when I return to London. As she’s back in London at roughly the same time as me, we’ll have to scout for a suitable replacement. Not that I know of any, as she’ll be in the west and I’ll be in the east. The only place equidistant will be in the city, where coffee is bound to cost £15 a cup.

Time moves ever quicker. In a month I’ll have finished my second year of university. In a year I’ll have finished altogether. It’s bizarre how rapidly the time has gone, I can’t believe that I’m almost over being a student. It’s all I’ve known for the past fifteen years, seems weird to think that part of my life will finally be over and I’ll finally be moving into the next stage of things.

I’ve also finally submitted my dissertation proposal. “Images of the Messiah and other Christian iconography in modern children’s literature”. Hoping they agree to it, the topic’s a bit out there. It’s also an excuse to spend a year reading Narnia and Harry Potter, while also watching Doctor Who. Love it. On the plus side, I think I’ve managed to pick a topic that has surprisingly little research already done into it (other than the Narnia aspect), so with any luck they’ll commend my ingenuity. Or tell me to piss off and pick a proper essay title. I’m hoping the former, though the latter sounds increasingly likely with every passing day.

Page layout

2008-05-13T21:27:00.007+10:00

In other intelligent news of the day, I just spent the past two hours tweaking my blog to move the sidebar to the left. Then I decided I didn't like it, and reverted back to how it had been originally. Argh! I'm incredibly moronic at times.

On the plus side, I've kept both page elements wider, which I think looks better. I'm hoping to edit some other stuff over the next few days, will see how I feel. If everything suddenly goes crazy while you're on the page, it's probably me bollocking up the coding.

And obviously, I can only ever see how this page looks from my computer. If anybody has any problems with viewing the page, please let me know.

Why?

2008-05-13T19:57:00.007+10:00

Why did I go into Borders today? Why? I knew what would happen, and stupidly went in anyway. Came out with a book 2kgs heavier and a wallet $75 emptier. Damnit.

The reason I popped in was because I couldn't remember the name of a Wilfred Owen poem (generally referring to it as, "that one that always makes me cry"). So, I found an Owen anthology, skimmed through to find the title, burst into tears in a shop full of people, and then forgot the title again. Well done there, Erykah. So I had to buy books in order to cheer myself up.

On the plus side, I think the bizarre juxtaposition of buying both James Joyce's 'Ulysses', and the new Marian Keyes novel makes up for it all. I had to buy a 'proper' book to allay my guilt about the trashy novel, although I'll probably enjoy the trash much more... My taste in books really is that strange. I'll read anything once.

(Well, when I say anything, I obviously don't mean historical fiction. Or anything by Ann Radcliffe. Because they're rubbish).

Greater Love

Red lips are not so red
As the stained stones kissed by the English dead.
Kindness of wooed and wooer
Seems shame to their love pure.
O Love, your eyes lose lure
When I behold eyes blinded in my stead!

Your slender attitude
Trembles not exquisite like limbs knife-skewed,
Rolling and rolling there
Where God seems not to care;
Till the fierce Love they bear
Cramps them in death’s extreme decrepitude.

Your voice sings not so soft,—
Though even as wind murmuring through raftered loft,—
Your dear voice is not dear,
Gentle, and evening clear,
As theirs whom none now hear
Now earth has stopped their piteous mouths that coughed.

Heart, you were never hot,
Nor large, nor full like hearts made great with shot;
And though your hand be pale,
Paler are all which trail
Your cross through flame and hail:
Weep, you may weep, for you may touch them not.

- Wilfred Owen

*sniff* I'm going to be an emotional wreck doing a WWI module next year.

The children of the night. What sweet music they make

2008-05-12T23:59:00.002+10:00

First, a confession. I’m really crap with films. In fact, most that people take for granted I generally haven’t ever got round to seeing. So, having to watch Bram Stoker’s Dracula for uni, I watched it today for the first time.

To sum it up in one word? Hilarious. Absolutely bloody hilarious. If a film’s bad enough that not even the presence of Gary Oldman can save it, there’s a serious problem. And good God. My Dad had warned me that Keanu Reeves was abysmal, but I don’t think I’d prepared myself for just quite how awful his acting really would be. Add to that, Winona Ryder is typically awful, Richard E. Grant is surprisingly bad, and an abundance of painful ‘English’ accents just make the whole thing into a complete comedy. And of course, as with all modern interpretations of Victorian novels, it becomes reinterpreted as ridiculously all about sex. Part of the point of the novel is that they’re all bloody heroines of sensibility (and sweet Jesus, am I sick of them) and therefore not actually having sex. There’s an abundant lack of sex scenes in the original novel, due to the fact that the whole damn point is that they’re all repressed and that’s why the vampire is such a subversive figure.

But to make up for the fact it’s a novel specifically about not having sex, they’ve gone so far in the opposite direction of ‘lets make this overtly all about shagging’, that it isn’t even sexy any more, just comedic. As well as having completely missed the point. You know, it’s no longer subtext when it becomes blatantly obvious. I can totally get 2,500 words out of the fact this film is rubbish compared to the novel. This pleases me.

What doesn’t please me is those damn accents. Seriously, this is why Aussies don’t think I “sound English”. Because thanks to the magic of Hollywood, those atrocious faux-British accents are what everybody believes we actually sound like.

Though Tom Waits as Renfield is genius. Fact.

Dude, I’m like totally, emoting.

Me on Thursday night.

Way down in the hole.

The play's the thing

2008-05-12T04:21:00.003+10:00

I feel bad about having never gone to see anything at the Globe theatre. So, to rectify the situation I've booked to see three plays there when I get back to London in September. At £5 a ticket, I really haven't got any excuses.

So, I'll be seeing A Midsummer Night's Dream, which is always fun, as well as two I know absolutely nothing about - The Merry Wives of Windsor and Timon of Athens. So it'll be interesting. Nice to see something by Shakespeare I haven't already had to analyse to death.

Why I love London theatres

2008-05-12T00:59:00.001+10:00

Twelfth Night. Derek Jacobi.

Hamlet. Jude Law. Directed by Kenneth Branagh.

I think the word I'm looking for is SQUEEEEE.

"Goodbye, brown horse. I turn and retreat, the rain and the mud are wetting my feet."

2008-05-10T21:09:00.007+10:00

I had work today from 7am-5pm, which was painful. Tomorrow is going to be worse, as I'm again starting at 7, it's Australian Mother's Day and we have bookings for at least 46 people, with probably many more destined to wander in and try and buy food for their loving mothers. And I'm sure that many small annoying children will be brought in and generally make a mess and lots of noise, as they're so good at doing.

On the plus side, work brought one of the randomest and nicest conversations I've ever had there this morning. some guy walks in with a big stack of papers, and as I bring him his coffee I decide to be friendly and ask him what he's reading.

Him: It's a play called The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole.
Me: OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT BOOK!
Him: You've read it?
Me: Yeah, I grew up where it's set, everyone has to read it back home.
Him: You grew up there?
Me: Yup
Him: Well i'm thinking of doing it with a group of year 9 students... tell me, do you think it'd be possible to recast Adrian as a girl?

So, we ended up having a really long coversation about the different ways he could approach doing the play, and I was able to answer his multiple questions about Leicester/UK slang (such as, "what's that got to do with ought?"), and the 1980s context, and all the class issues and various other things.

It was just really nice. For once, somebody actually treated me as an intelligent human being, which happens incredibly rarely at work. Usually I'm just the girl who fetches and carries food, with obviously no life or mental capacities beyond such a job. Made such a lovely change to speak to someone who actually was interested in something I had to say, and valued my opinion. So, that made the rest of the day worthwhile. And at the end of the day, I'm a Literature nerd, so being able to engage in a decent discussion about a book I actually like, was wonderful. And all before 9am. Wish it happened more often.

Update

2008-05-09T23:28:00.000+10:00

I've paid for my flight home, which is a massive weight off my mind. If nothing else, I'm going home. Next step is being able to get to Singapore, but that's the easy part! I've also been good today and sorted out two lots of travel insurance. One six week lot for when my OSHC (Overseas Student Health Care) runs out and until I get home, and another for the week we're spending in Spain. Couldn't get them both under the same policy, as the 'backpacker' world one is immediately void once I arrive back in the UK. So I paid £10 more and got a single trip Europe policy in addition to that. I'm amazed I can be so organised, it's taken me by surprise. And with any luck once my card gets sorted (on Tuesday, hurrah!) I can then book my Darwin-Singapore flight.

My flight has also changed slightly, as I've since discovered I wouldn't be allowed out of the airport during my 12-hours stopover in Colombo. So that's gone out the window, and I'm instead leaving Singapore at roughly 10:30 on the 17th, rather than midnight on the 18th, and changing flights in Kuala Lumpur. Won't be a great deal to do, but at least I'm only stuck there for an hour or so. Means I also get into Dubai significantly earlier, so I'm planning what to do for that day. I'm hoping to go out into the desert, and maybe visit some of the surrounding area while I'm there. It also looks likely I may have to learn some basic Arabic, which could be interesting.

In other news, the hostel gave away free champagne last night. I drank far too much on an empty stomach, and made an absolute fool of myself. So well done there Erykah. Nice one.

Cold

2008-05-07T10:12:00.006+10:00

People are constantly criticising me for complaining about the cold. "You're in Australia", they say. "It's lovely and warm there".

Fact:

It is 10am here in Melbourne. It is 1am in London. According to Yahoo Weather, they are both currently 14 degrees.

I very much doubt there is anybody wandering round London right now going, "oh, it's lovely and warm!"

Ergo, it is cold, and I can bitch and complain as much as I want about being freezing.

Plus, it pissed it down with rain for most of yesterday afternoon. If I wanted rain, I'd have stayed in England. Where the bloody hell is all this fantastic weather I was promised?

Bring on Dubai and the 45 degree heat, that's what I say.

(Long-term readers of this blog will note I'm never happy with the weather. I'll get up to Darwin in July and complain about being too hot. It's a British thing).

Good things

2008-05-07T00:21:00.002+10:00

I’m trying to make a list of good things, before HSBC drive me mad. So here goes:

I’m going home in three months, and all this stress will be over. I also get to see Central Australia, a reasonable amount of south-east Asia, and the United Arab Emirates, which should be great. I think part of my problem at the moment is the fact I’m a) ready to go home, b) really wanting to travel again and c) getting the end-semester blues. I’d love another week off. Last semester we got a two-week break in the middle, this time round we had one week right at the beginning of the year, which means I’m struggling through roughly three continuous months without any time off. But I just have to get to June, and then it’ll all be over for a while. The other aspect is just the fact I just can’t get myself motivated or excited about studying, no matter what it is we end up covering, and I’m just getting completely disenchanted with the whole concept of uni. Which means I cruise through doing the minimum amount of work, get grades that reflect this, when I know I’m capable of at least doing reasonably well. I just can’t seem to make myself care about the fact I’m now looking at graduating with a 2:2 rather than a 2:1. Still, just got to get to the 11th June (surprisingly soon) and I don’t have to think about uni again until the 22nd September. June is going to be crap (four essays due in the space of three days), but I’m really going to attempt to actually start on my essays now. Then when it gets to June I’ll be less stressed. I know I should have been thinking like this for the past two years already, but as I said, I just can’t make myself care. Which worries me slightly; I should give a shit about how I do at uni. To be honest, I sometimes wonder why I bothered going to uni in the first place. I mean, it’s been great, I wouldn’t be in Australia otherwise, but sometimes I just don’t see the point. I have absolutely no idea what use a Literature degree actually has, other than proving to people I did barely any work for three years of my life. In all honesty, I’m probably going to end up in an office job, which I could have done after leaving school anyway. The only reason I ever went to uni was because it just seems to be what you do, not what I actually chose for myself (and we won’t get into the various situations which led to me ending up at Queen Mary. Needless to say, it wasn’t my first choice. Or even as high as fifth, so out of six choices that’s not a good start).

Anyway, this is supposed to be about happy things, not become a rant about how I think I’ve wasted the past two years of my academic life. So, happy. Let’s see...

Now I’ve switched to days at work, it’s a million times better than it was working nights. Yes, we still get idiots coming in, but at least at 2pm they tend to be sober idiots, who are much easier to cope with. Plus, the tips are better, for two reasons. Firstly, there’s fewer floor staff, which means less people to split them between. Secondly, even though there’s fewer customers, the fact it’s a nice relaxed Monday afternoon rather than a hectic Saturday night means we can take our time, not stress out, and still provide good service. So, people tip better, because we’re not all running round trying to do five things at once and going slightly mad.

Right, other good things. As I’ve already mentioned, I get to travel a lot over the winter, which is excellent. The fantastic thing about going home (other than the fact I’m really just ready to get back to stuff I know) is I get to see all my friends again. I mean, I see the same people every day for four years at high school, then we all go our separate ways to uni and only see each other every few months, and now I haven’t seen them for almost a year. Will be amazing to see them all again, as well as all the people I’ve met down in London. I’ve missed my gossip. I’m going to miss the people I’ve met in Melbourne, but in a few years I’ll be back and able to see them all again. With the added benefit of not having to go through that agonising period of not knowing anybody; instead it’ll just be a catch-up. And I can get drunk, safe in the knowledge that these people already know I’m a complete idiot under the influence of alcohol, and not have to convince them I’m a normal member of society.

It rained today. I know, that’s not necessarily a good thing, but everyone got very excited about it. I still can’t get my head round this whole drought business, but unlike in the UK, rain tends to be seen as a good thing. And when I left the library earlier tonight, there was that wonderful ‘just rained’ smell in the air, which I suddenly realised I hadn’t experienced since leaving home. It made me smile.

Free champagne in the Hotel Discovery bar on Thursday night. I have no idea why, but it’s unlimited amounts for two hours. I can drink a lot in two hours. The best thing is, it’s only 6:30-8:30pm, so then I can go to bed and get up bright and early Friday morning for work.

I had Dr Pepper the other day, for the first time in months. Cost a small fortune, but it was bloody good.

It’s Doctor Who night tomorrow, which means I get together with a bunch of fellow geeks, eat pizza and can unashamedly squee over Sontarans. Plus the guys all tend to be a laugh, which is fabulous.

I seem to have got the writing bug at the moment. Ok, so I’m not writing the stuff I should be, but I’m writing something, even if it’s just this blog. And even if nobody reads it and it’s all a bit rubbish, I enjoy it, and the only way to improve is to carry on doing it.

I’m single. Never thought I’d consider that to be a good thing, but it’s really not that bad. It means when I go home in a few weeks I’m not going to have to go through the inevitable heartbreak of parting (splitting up with my ex shortly after I came out here was horrible, and something I made the decision to avoid having to do again), and I’m completely independent. I can do what I want, when I want, and not have to factor anybody else into the equation. Which is awesome. I’m so bloody headstrong and spontaneous it tends to get me into trouble, but for now I can just go:

“Do I fancy going to Ballarat today?”
“Yes, yes I do”
and then get on the train.

Rather than:

“Where are you going?”
“Ballarat.”
“Why?”
“Dunno, just am”
“But we’re supposed to go and visit Auntie Muriel today”
“Damnit, I wanted to go to Ballarat”
“Well you said you’d come and see Auntie Muriel”
“Can’t we go tomorrow instead? I wanna go to Ballarat instead”
“But she’s expecting us”
“Meh. Ok ok, I'll come and see bloody Auntie Muriel”
“Why do you want to go to Ballarat anyway?”
“No idea, it’s just a place name that comes in useful in this sort of long-winded example. Who the hell’s Auntie Muriel?”
“Good point”

And maybe things will change when I get home. I’ll be stuck in Blighty (apart from going to Spain, and Gally, and Florida…) for a good few years while I try and save money, there’s time enough to grow up and stop being completely selfish then. Besides, Inya has a theory that when I get home, the fact I’ve spent a year in Melbourne will make me seem all exotic and interesting. May be complete crap, but all theories need rigorous testing, and I shall do so with pleasure.

Melbourne is awesome, and I still have three months here.

When I leave, I’m going to be living in London. Which is still an awesome place to live, even if it’s now under the control of a buffoon.

I’m going to see David Tennant and Patrick Stewart in October.

This time tomorrow I’ll have paid for my flights home.

I have a lecture and tutorial on Lord of the Rings tomorrow.

I have fantastic friends, from all over the world, who I love. There are some I know will always be there for me, no matter what. And have proved it in the past year, even if it’s just something as simple a virtual hug via Facebook. And the fact I’ve got these great people is the most important thing of all.

Aren’t warm fuzzy feelings nice? *grin*

Edit: Why is it I can write 1,500 words in about 45 minutes when it's random filler for my blog, but spend hours staring at a blank screen when I have an essay deadline looming?

Argh!, part cinq

2008-05-06T19:51:00.003+10:00

I now can't use my debit card to get cash out of the ATM.

*cries*

In other news, it's pissed it down with rain all day, and I'm cold. I could have stayed in England for this, my life would be considerably easier.

Argh!, part quatre

2008-05-05T23:30:00.002+10:00

So, the saga continues. As I can't pay for my flight online, today I had to go down to the Emirates Office to pay in person. It's ending up costing me more paying in cash, which is utterly stupid. If I could just use my credit card, I wouldn’t have this ridiculous problem. So, the flight is marked as $1302 SGD. This equates to £487 GBP according to the Emirates online converter, but $1,080AUD paying in cash – which is roughly £519.

So I’m paying about £30 extra, which is a bloody pain. But, as long as I can get my flight sorted, I'm starting to not care. As long as I can get home, that'll be enough for me.

I didn’t realise about the few extra dollars when I went to book, so I didn’t quite have enough. Then when I went to the ATM, my card was declined. I’m praying to every single bloody denomination of God(s) on high that this was purely because I’ve already taken out $500 in one day, because if my debit card now won’t work either, I’m absolutely screwed. And really will cry down the phone to the bank, rather than just pretending to.

In more exciting news, I'm currently pondering going to Gallifrey 2009 next February in L.A., then heading down to Mexico for a few days to see my friend Farid (who is currently still in Melbourne with me, it's slightly strange to think we’ll be in completely different places in just a few months). At the moment return flights from Heathrow to LAX are around the £400 mark, which seems pretty good. Will give it a couple of months before deciding though – I don’t want to book a trip to the US if it turns out the dates coincide with my dissertation deadline, or anything like real life threatening to get in the way. Though the prospect of both "A major new push for Doctor Who and Torchwood cosplay" (aka dressing up as various characters and therefore fully completing the sci-fi nerd stereotype) and "two nights of karaoke" do concern me more than slightly. The Doctor Who Lesbian re-enactment group at Swancon were more than enough, and there were only four of them.

I'm sorely tempted to buy a ticket to Gally now though – they're currently only $40 USD (about £20), and I'm sure if I can't go I can sell it to somebody else nearer the time. Compare that to the £70 I'm paying for a weekend up in Newcastle for Dimensions, and it’s a bargain. Though I won't deny transport costs to Newcastle will be considerably cheaper – my mate Dave is driving us up from London, and I think the plan is to split the petrol costs.

I'm also still pondering the possibility of becoming a trolley dolly when leaving uni. I mean, think about it: it can't be any more stressful than a 10-hour Saturday night 6pm-4am shift at Café Trevi, I'm sure I'd get a longer break, the wages are better, they wouldn’t expect me to somehow come in at 10am the next morning, and they pay you to travel the world. How awesome is that? Plus, what else am I going to do with a Literature degree other than work in a dull office job for the first few years after uni anyway? This way I get to see a bit of the world, hopefully save up some cash, before travelling properly, then come back home in my mid-to-late-20s and finally grow up and get a proper job. Or do a Masters' degree, depending on how well I do in my undergrad and just how much I actually manage to grow up before then. After that, I'll just settle down into a nice boring office job. Quite possibly in the Civil Service, I was an excellent photocopier.

The only problem is potentially going to be my height. Qantas would want me to be 5'4", which is utterly ridiculous! Bloody heightism. Luckily Virgin Atlantic only need people to be at least 5'2", which I believe I just about manage to hit. Going to be a case of shopping around really, should I decide to go for it. Would it be wrong to go for the job with the best hats? At Emirates they really have some spectacular headgear, I’d never be able to leave the house without laughing if I were forced to wear one of them.

A selection of the finest hats exampled in the air hostess industry:

Gulf Air

British Airways (Thunderbirds are go)

Emirates

BMI

Caledonian Airways

Ms Tegan "no knight errants!" Jovanka

Argh!, part trois

2008-05-05T10:33:00.003+10:00

I got a phone call from my mum at 1am this morning, telling her that HSBC had phoned the house concerning my credit card, and wanted to speak to me about something. So, hoping it might actually start working, I phoned them up.

Turns out, they’ve decided I'm trying to de-fraud myself. There’s been "suspicious activity" on my account apparently, which seems to boil down to the fact that I’ve tried to pay for things and then had my card declined. According to them, I only have £1.17 of available balance. According to the £1,000 I transferred onto the card a week ago, I should have considerably more than that. So because "somebody" (me) has been trying to use my card, not realising there’s no money on it, they were getting ready to cancel it.

Me: There should be a lot more than £1 on my card.
Woman on Phone (WoP): That’s what our records are saying.
Me: I transferred £1,000 onto it last week.
WoP: Not according to our records.
Me: There should be money on there, even if the bank said I couldn’t use it.
WoP: Well we’re just card services, you’ll have to phone account services to get that sorted out.
Me: *headdesk*

She then read through all my recent transactions, and I had to confirm they were all me. Which, surprisingly, they were.

I shouldn't really complain about the fraud unit though. After all, if somebody had stolen my card I'd be getting annoyed the issue hadn’t been sorted. On the other hand, it would be nice if different departments in the bloody bank actually talked to each other once in a while, instead of me having to act as a go-between. But that's bureaucracy for you. And the hassle trying to get the Australian division of HSBC to talk to the UK one is ridiculous, not to mention expensive.

I now also have to phone up account services again tomorrow evening, to make sure they're actually sorting everything out, and the fact that I'm apparently being defrauded hasn’t taken everything back to square one. Wouldn't surprise me if that was the case, so I'm planning to play the "I’m-living-in-a-foreign-country-all-by-myself-and-I’m-only-19-and-I-have-no-money-because-it’s-all-on-my-card-and-my-flight-reservation-has-been-cancelled-because-I-can’t-pay-for-it-and-I-need-to-get-home-or-I’ll-be-extradited" card. Hopefully it'll work. If it doesn't, I'll turn on the histrionics and start crying.

So much for being the world's bloody local bank. And so much for my week of crap being over – it’s destined to be a month. Just great. I’m also potentially going to have to work two eleven-hour shifts over Mothers' Day weekend, which I'm not looking forward to. Lord knows what work will bring tomorrow. One thing's for certain, there is no way I'm going to the hairdresser until my bad luck goes away.

Dimensions - in Time

2008-05-04T23:49:00.003+10:00

Hurray! I just got an email saying my Dimensions ticket was confirmed. Very excited, haven't been to a convention at all this year. (Well, except Swancon, which doesn't really count as I didn't actually pay for it and so barely went to any talks). Will be good to catch up with the old gang.

My mate Dave is in charge of accommodation, and hopefully we've managed to get a twin room at the Travel Inn nearest to the airport. Hoping it'll work out as quite a cheap convention - Dave's driving us up, so we'll just split petrol costs rather than have to spend a small fortune on the train. It'll be a long drive, but on the plus side Loughborough is almost exactly halfway between London and Newcastle, so we're planning on having a break there for an hour or so.

I've missed going to cons. While the guests are always fab, the wonderful drinking companions are even better. 2009 should bring many many more, I hope. With any luck, including Gally.

That was the week that was

2008-05-04T23:27:00.002+10:00

So the week is finally over. It’s been a funny one. In the immortal words of Henry's Cat,

"Funny-weird or funny-ha-ha?"
"Well, a bit of both really."

Hoping it's just an exceptionally bizarre week, and doesn't decide to extend itself to a month.

Haven't been up to a great deal lately. Friday evening saw comedy night at the hostel. Every time, they have a minor trivia contest. The beauty of Friday was that I've now been living here so long, they're starting to repeat the questions. So our team had a resounding victory, and won a jug of beer. The best thing is it doesn't even count as cheating, it's not my fault they’re too lazy to come up with some new questions. They'd gone to the effort of adding one extra question, the answer to which made me happy I’m vegetarian.

Some random facts about meat pies for you:

1. They only have to contain a minimum of 25% meat.
2. That 'meat' can come from any part of the animal.
3. Goat, camel and horse are all classed as suitable for inclusion within a meat pie.

Quite why they're so popular out here, I have no idea. They're made of stuff you wouldn’t give to your dog, they smell really bad, and are so unappetising most people have to coat them in tomato sauce before being able to eat them. Then again, there’s a lot of stuff I don't understand about people. Such as how one million Londoners could vote for a racist, homophobic idiot, simply because he’s "not Ken". But then again, that’s just bloody typical of this week, really.

The only reason I’ve been able to discover for people liking Boris, other than not being Ken, is that "he’s funny". The reason he's so "funny" is because he's so bloody useless, that’s not a quality you want in somebody running one of the world's major cities. Sigh.

Friday night was fantastic though, purely because I got to see my mate Inya, who I haven’t met up with for absolutely ages. We should be back in London at roughly the same time too, so I can have someone to commiserate with about our lack of travelling. It was pointed out to me today that if I turn into one of those boring people who just waffles on ad nauseum about "discovering myself while travelling," nobody will want to speak to me. Hell, I won’t want to speak to me, it’s annoying enough when other people do it. Though God knows what else I'm going to talk about, it's not like I've done anything else in the past year. I'll just stand there and look blonde, it’s a particular talent of mine.

The other major thing to happen is that my flight reservation has been cancelled, as I can't pay for it. Great. So I've had to rebook, and hopefully can pay for the thing soon. I'm going to the Emirates office tomorrow, I don't want to wait until my card gets fixed and find out the price has suddenly doubled or something. Sigh.

Other than that, nothing overly disastrous has really happened (well, nothing that I particularly want published on the internet, even if nobody else would really be that bothered - if you are, ask me nicely, and I'll probably tell you). I still can’t use my credit card, work is as dull as ever, and I now have no money. On the plus side of things, I can console myself with the fact that while very drunk on Friday night, to the point of sending emails I probably really shouldn't have, at least I didn't try and blog. Because that would have been horribly shameful.

One day I will look back on this all and laugh, I'm sure. For now, I want to hide under my duvet and eat a lot of chocolate, and come out again just in time to go back home in July.

Argh!, part deux

2008-05-02T19:03:00.003+10:00

So, I've found out why my card won't work. It's so ridiculous I can't actually quite believe it.

I've got a £500 limit on my credit card, so on Monday I transferred £1,000 onto it from my student loan payment. That repaid all the debt, as well as adding an extra £500 as I need to pay for my flights home. Simple enough, surely?

Well, no. According to the woman on the phone, "the bank don't like you being in credit" and so my card has been blocked. That is STUPID logic, even for a bank. So, they complain when I'm in debt, but complain even more when I'm not. I'm now left with £1,000 I can't actually use.

They're transferring half of it back into my account, but that won't happen for SEVEN WORKING DAYS. I have no money until the 13th May. I can't pay for my flight home, I have no idea how long Emirates will keep my booking for me without paying, and I can't afford to pay the inevitable price hike if my booking gets cancelled and I have to rebook. Why the hell it takes so bloody long I don't understand either. I have to conclude it's because they're shit.

Apparently blocking my card is to prevent 'money laundering'. For GOD'S sake, I'm a STUDENT. Did they not notice that several thousand students throughout the country all got given a reasonable amount of money on Monday? Last time I checked, the Student Loan company was owned by the government, not the bloody mafia.

HSBC = arseholes. Complete, fucking, arseholes.

God, I can't wait for this week to end. It's been horrible from start to finish.

Argh!

2008-05-02T17:06:00.003+10:00

My credit card isn't working. This is very annoying, as I now need to spend a minor fortune phoning the bank back home to find out why.

I hate phoning HSBC. I'll be on hold for about half an hour, before being transferred to a call centre in the middle of bloody nowhere, where neither me or the person on the other end of the phone will be able to hear each other. The quality of the line between here and the UK isn't good at the best of times, when it's then transferred to somewhere else on top of that there's no hope of deciphering a word through the constant buzzing and crackling.

Then, they'll tell me to come into branch. They always do, and I always have to spend about ten minutes explaining that I can't, because I'm in the wrong country, and now my card isn't working I can't actually even buy a flight home, before being put on hold for another fifteen minutes while they check with their supervisor if it's ok to sort the problem out over the phone.

This is not what I had planned for an exciting Friday night, damnit.

The election

2008-05-01T18:31:00.005+10:00

So it's the London elections today. Annoyingly, I can't vote as I'm still registered up in Leicestershire, and can't switch down to London without a permanent address there, which sucks.

I'm currently PRAYING that Boris Johnson doesn't become Mayor for London. Though saying that, perhaps not the worst one. There's also the BNP "Asylum seekers and illegal immigrants are...given millions of pounds in benefits", UKIP "NO to the European Union ", the English Democrats "LONDON MONEY MAKES SCOTLAND’S WORLD GO ROUND" and Christian Choice, "Stop the mega-mosque". Luckily, they're very unlikely to get a significant number of votes. He's the only bad one with a serious chance of actually being elected. Not only is he ridiculously incompetent (look, if you've got someone like Arnold bloody Schwartzenegger criticising your abilities, there's got to be something seriously wrong. This someone who thought Twins was a good idea). And Boris Johnson is a man who thought writing the following in the British press was a good idea,

"They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird. "
Daily Telegraph 10/01/2002

Sigh.

Fair Isle

2008-04-30T00:51:00.006+10:00

My Dad is moving to Fair Isle imminently. In case you haven't heard of it (which most people haven't), it's a tiny island in the middle of the North Sea. One mile by three miles, it's halfway between Shetland and Orkney, and takes the best part of a day to get there. The only way to get there is a ferry from Aberdeen to Lerwick, then back south again from Orkney. It really is in the middle of nowhere.

It's owned by the Scottish National Trust, and is very popular with bird spotters, due to the large amount of rare birds there. Dad is going to open a hostel/B&B and try and encourage the tourist industry a bit more. Currently the main place for holiday accomodation is the Bird Observatory, and rumour has it that bird watchers can get off-puttingly obsessive about birds at times (think Doctor Who fandom with binoculars). The plan is to try and encourage some non-bird fanatics up to the place, and experience everything else it has to offer.
However, the problem seems to be that it doesn't exactly have a great deal of 'everything else', other than sheep. There's no pub, one primary school, and one village shop. It has a population of less than one hundred, and is one of the remotest parts of the British Isles. Pastimes include sheep crofting, knitting (hence the Fair Isle technique) and birdwatching. I've been assured dozens of times it's actually a very exciting place, but the lack of anything to do terrifies me slightly. Plus there's the fact that in winter, the North Sea journey is very rough, and people are potentially stuck on the island for weeks on end. Still, my Dad will be there, which I suppose is reason enough to go and visit. Which I shall do, multiple times a year, even if I do end up being bored out of my mind with nothing to do. Because, despite all his reassurances, I suspect it will be absolutely bloody freezing, and I'll end up spending the majority of my time indoors next to the radiator.

And I won't deny it's quite pretty. Though how quickly that stops being a novelty and starts being just another rock with just another rare bird sitting on it, rather than a bank, or a shop, or a pub, I can't say. I'm a city girl, I like my creature comforts. Getting out into the wilds of nature is all well and good, but I like being able to pop into the supermarket once I'm done.

On the plus side of things, we will be living in the bloody lighthouse, which is made of awesome. I expect many Round the Twist/Famous Five-style adventures to ensue.

Going home

2008-04-29T22:01:00.003+10:00

I've just booked my flights back to the UK!

18th August:
Singapore - Colombo
00:30 - 01:30
Colombo - Dubai
12:05 - 14:50

21st August:
Dubai - Birmingham
08:05 - 12:35

And all for the bargain price of $1302 Singapore dollars. Which is about ₤485, so not at all bad. I still need to book the Darwin-Singapore leg of the trip, hoping to fly up on the 14th August. Pound-for-mile, it'll probably be the most expensive bit, which is both bizarre and amusing.

The Colombo stopover (though technically Katunayake, but I have to keep looking up how to spell it so use Colombo instead) wasn't part of the plan, but for some reason going straight from Singapore - Dubai would have cost ₤200 more without hanging round there for twelve hours. Don't quite understand it, but there we go. I'm hoping they let me out of the airport, or it could be incredibly dull. Still, if possible it'll be nice to see Sri Lanka, albeit probably for only about three hours. Plus more countries visited = more stamps in passport. Which is always fun. Hoping to visit Malaysia and perhaps Indonesia while in Singapore as well. I shall be well-travelled by the time I return!

The morning from Hell

2008-04-28T20:58:00.000+10:00

Today heralded one of the worst mornings I have had for an incredibly long time. I should have known it was going to be horrible when work woke me up by phoning me to come in today. So that's bad thing number one.

Bad thing number two happened after I'd finally dragged myself out of bed. Went to the bathroom, had shower, got dressed, etc, then went back to my room. Tried to get in, couldn't. Knocked, nobody answered. My electronic key had stopped working, and I was locked out. I then had to trudge down to reception, and queue for ten minutes waiting for it to get fixed. This is when I rang work letting them know I was going to be late (and considering bad thing number three, it's a good job I did).

Now, bad thing number three. Finally got my key fixed, walked to the lift. Got in the lift, pressed the button for fourth floor, and the door shut behind me. The lift didn't move. I pressed the open door button. Nothing happened. I then pressed every single button I could possibly find, and again, nothing happened. So I then waited fifteen minutes for someone to get me out of the bloody thing.

Got to love the conversation I had on the emergency phone as well.

Me: I'm stuck in the lift.
Reception: Which one?
Me: The small one
Reception: That's been out of order for days.
Me: ...no it hasn't.
Reception: Yes it has, there's signs up everywhere saying not to use it.
Me: ...no there aren't.
Reception: Yes there are
Me: Do you really think I'd have got in here if I'd known it was broken? Someone just walked out of it as I got in.

Turns out the one sign saying it's out of order is on the ground floor lift door. Fair enough, you might think. But when the lift is actually sporadically working, people tend to use it. And when people use it, the door is left open. Surprising as it may seem, you can't see the out of order signs when the lift door is open. And even when I finally escaped the lift, went to my room, finished getting ready and went downstairs, people were still happily using the lift, even though I'd been stuck in it not five minutes before.

Anyway, the outcome of that story is that I now refuse to use the hostel lifts, and instead take the stairs. There are about one hundred stairs from ground to forth floor, but I don't care. It's cheaper than joining the gym.

After that disastrous morning, I made sure to buy a ticket on the tram. With that run of bad luck, I was almost guaranteed to meet a tram inspector if I fare evaded.

On the plus side, my student loan payment arrived! That makes up for all the other crap life's been throwing at me today.

(It's also been pointed out that if you're not me, my disastrous morning is actually incredibly funny. so thanks for that, guys).

In the not-so-distant future I will...

2008-04-26T21:10:00.006+10:00

* Finish Melbourne Uni with an average of H2B
* Graduate with a 2:1
* Finish a certain project I've started
* Take up regular exercise
* Learn to walk on stilts
* Learn another language
* Visit the theatre at least ten times before the end of 2008
* Go to art galleries and/or museums at least twice a month
* Not leave my essays until the last minute
* Take up poi again, and finally master the 5-beat weave
* Learn to play the guitar
* Write more letters
* Read the BBC's top one hundred books:

1. ~~The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien~~
2. ~~Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen~~
3. ~~His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman~~
4. ~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams~~
5. ~~Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling~~
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. ~~Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne~~
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. ~~The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis~~
10. ~~Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë~~
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. ~~Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë~~
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. ~~The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger~~
16. ~~The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame~~
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. ~~Little Women, Louisa May Alcott~~
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. ~~Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling~~
23. ~~Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling~~
24. ~~Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling~~
25. ~~The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien~~
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. ~~Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll~~
31. ~~The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson~~
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. ~~Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl~~
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. ~~Persuasion, Jane Austen~~
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. ~~The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald~~
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. ~~Animal Farm, George Orwell~~
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. ~~Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy~~
49. ~~Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian~~
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. ~~The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett~~
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. ~~The BFG, Roald Dahl~~
57. ~~Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome~~
58. ~~Black Beauty, Anna Sewell~~
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. ~~Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden~~
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. ~~Mort, Terry Pratchett~~
66. ~~The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton~~
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. ~~Lord Of The Flies, William Golding~~
71. ~~Perfume, Patrick Süskind~~
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. ~~Matilda, Roald Dahl~~
75. ~~Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding~~
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. ~~Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson~~
81. ~~The Twits, Roald Dahl~~
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. ~~On The Road, Jack Kerouac~~
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. ~~Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson~~
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

(Then quite possibly re-read the rest, before making a start on the top 200).

Bribery

2008-04-26T19:56:00.006+10:00

Work gave me free cake today. And runnin up and down those bloody stairs all day means I've lost at least a stone since I started. This why I stay.

I've just made the amusing discovery that if you type 'Freud hate' into Google, my blog is on the first page of results. Which made me cackle quite a lot - perhaps not the best thing to do in an internet café surrounded by people, but it amused me nonetheless. if the one thing I end up being remembered for is hating Freudian theory, I will have done well in life.

I've currently had to bribe myself to write this bloody Freud essay though. When I finish it, I get to watch Doctor Who. And Rosencrantz & Guildernstein are Dead. And the Doctor Who 'Beneath the Surface' boxset And buy myself another Marian Keyes novel. Yes they're trashy, but they're my heroin. Sometimes it's nice not to have to think too hard. My last essay coincides with my student loan payment: I think that's an incentive to spend money.

I'm going to spend an absolute bloody fortune - I need to buy my flights home, pay my mate the money for our Spain holiday, pay my Dad back some cash he lent me and buy some essentials (yes, new jeans and DVDs are both essentials).

The benefit of having worked ridiculous amounts this week means for once I can actually afford to splash out a bit. Isn't it wonderful how these things work?

I can't wait to get this essay done and actually have a life again.

I hate Freud

2008-04-25T18:19:00.004+10:00

And yes, I'm sure that actually reveals something hideously disturbing about my subsonscious. But Freud is rubbish. A small child being scared of horses = horrible repression about wanting to shag his mother, obviously. It can't possibly have anything to do with the fact he's just seen one had a fit and kill somebody by falling on them, oh no. Because being scared of something you've just seen CAUSE DEATH is just a ridiculous concept.

Stupid Freud. Still, at least he's increibly easy to criticise. I'll concede that psychoanalysis is a fascinating concept, and he must have been incredibly clever to come up with it, but dear GOD the man talks some absolute SHIT.

(Oh, and go here. I got 69.1% Lit Geek corrupt. Is it wrong I believe that number should be higher?)

Pointless post

2008-04-24T21:38:00.003+10:00

I've been invited to a house party tomorrow evening, how exciting! haven't been out properly for ages, annoying stuff like work and essays and lack of money keep getting in the way. So I'm working 8am-6pm tomorrow, going home, sleeping, going to this party around 11ish, then starting work again at 10am. Could be interesting. At some point I also have to find time to write my history essay. I hate the fact Easter was so early this year. Last year we had a fortnight off to do all the essays in. This semester we've got nothing, makes for a somewhat stressful life.

Am working lots this weekend, due to ANZAC day falling on a Friday and making it a long weekend. Hopefully work won't be too busy tomorrow, though I have a feeling it will be. With any luck, it'll rain loads and everyone will want to stay inside. Still, at least I'm working the day shift rather than at night - I don't envy those guys one bit. Plus I get to go to a party, which is always good. Was invited from one of the guys who works in BWS a couple of doors down. Wandered in on my way home just to say hi, and ended up chatting for two hours. Which was nice, if a bit random.

This is the best thing about working on Lygon Street though. We all get to know each other and it turns into a bit of a community. I now know most of the people from our block (between Elgin & Faraday if anybody's interested), even if it's just to say 'hi' to. It's doubly good. Not only does it mean I get to know a bunch of pretty cool people, I've also started to get discounts on stuff. When working next door to a cocktail bar and a bottle shop, this fact can only be made of awesome.

Writing

2008-04-21T23:01:00.002+10:00

I'm in a writing mood. How exciting, this hasn't happened for ages. And of course, it co-incides with an essay deadline, meaning I either lose or my ideas and have a great essay, or a rubbish essay and a bunch of great but hideously disjointed ideas down on paper. Or both, fuelled by mass amounts of Red Bull and mild heart palpatations at the end of it. Which again, isn't good. But the route it looks I shall have to take. It's just not an Erykah essay without a caffiene overdose.

Oood

2008-04-20T19:27:00.003+10:00

Had an absolutely shitty day at work. Came home and watched Doctor Who on YouTube and feel a lot better now. Which is nice. No matter how stressed/miserable/depressed I am, Doctor Who always makes me feel better. And while that's perhaps slightly sad, it's always nice to know there's something easily accesible that can cheer me up. And it's a healthier (and cheaper) alternative than a bottle of vodka.

I still want an Ood though. Not necessarily to do any household chores, just to hang around with.

And on a random note - turns out if you do a Google image search for 'ood', there's a link to my blog on the first page. Which explains why my weekly hit count has quadrupled in the past week.

78 things

2008-04-18T22:54:00.000+10:00

1)Tomatoes make me sad. Why must people insist on ruining perfectly beautiful meals by adding these instruments of torture?

2)I’ve very impulsive, meaning I find it difficult to motivate myself to do things I have to – essays, tidying, etc.

3)I’m often tempted to do a Master’s Degree after finishing my undergrad study, but my absolute lack of self-control means I’d waste several thousand pounds and fail miserably.

4)I’ve never driven a car in my life.

5)My favourite word is ‘discombobulate’.

6)I like to crunch the ice when I’ve finished my drink. As well as eat the lemon if there’s one included.

7)I’m allergic to penicillin, photocopier toner and washing-up liquid. They give me eczema.

8)I love being out in the rain, as long as there’s a guarantee of dry clothes and a warm fire once I return.

9)Microsoft Word spelling and grammar check makes me angry, as it tries to tell me I’m wrong when I know I’m right.

10)I physically cannot tan. I just get occasional freckles.

11)Due to this, my foundation shade is L’Oreal W1. This also leads to be being constantly told I look ill, or accused of being a Goth.

12)My favourite season is autumn, as I love crunching along in the leaves and picking up conkers. Dark, crisp nights are beautiful. I hate winter as it’s just grey and dreary, unless there’s some proper snow.

13)The fifth of November is possibly the greatest holiday in the United Kingdom.

14)Make it a strong, skinny latte, with two sugars. I’m old enough to drink ‘proper’ coffee, but immature enough that the foam is always a novelty.

15)Or a strong tea, with a little bit of milk in and half a sugar.

16)My laptop is called Nigel and I love him, even though he only has one working USB port and the touchpad doesn’t work. This can make life a bit of a challenge.

17)I like to read the Daily Mail website for a bit of comic relief every now and then.

18)When I rule the world, my first act will be to relocate the United Kingdom in the Tasman Sea. Upside down, naturally, so the weather systems can stay the same. In order to have the proper weather at Christmas and my birthday, June and December will swap places in the calendar.

19)Historical fiction pisses me off.

20)I haven’t lived in a building with a bathtub for nearly two years now (except when I stayed with my Dad in uni holidays). Showers are great, but I miss being able to have a bath whenever I feel like it.

21)In comparison to my height, I have really tiny hands, and novelty oversized clown feet.

22)I have a weakness for cheesecake.

23)I can tell the difference between Dr Pepper made in the UK, the Czech Republic, or the rest of mainland Europe from taste alone. The fact nobody else can means they think I’m a complete nutter.

24)I cannot find Dr Pepper in Australia. This makes me as sad as when people put tomatoes in my food.

25)I honestly cannot comprehend the appeal of tomato juice.

26)My mobile phone is purple.

27)I own a dimensionally transcendental handbag.

28)My ears seem to be unnaturally sensitive to high-pitched sounds, meaning the noise of my mum’s “silent” fridge irritates me a lot more than any regular fridge can.

29)I think turbulence makes flying more exciting.

30)Nothing can beat a pint of proper cider.

31)One of the most important things I’ve learned in university is to never drink red wine after already starting the night on cider.

32)The first time I ever went abroad was when I moved to Australia. This means I’ve seen the majority of England as various alternative holiday destinations.

33)I harbour secret ambitions of being a writer.

34)Or a photographer.

35)Or an air hostess. It can’t be any more stressful than my current job and you get paid to go to glamorous international destinations. Or whisked off on some exciting adventures in time and space before starting your first shift, if you’re extra lucky.

36)I have Fridays off uni. This makes me happy. I also feel slightly cheated, as public holidays seem to keep falling on Fridays at the moment. Being given a day off as an alternative to a day off isn’t quite the same.

37)I give blood as regularly as I can. Sadly, things seem to keep getting in the way. First I became anaemic. Now Australia thinks I’ve got mad cow disease (all us Pommies have, apparently). Then I’ll go back home and they’ll want to wait to make sure I haven’t got any horribly infectious tropical diseases. That one’s fair enough.

38)I have no idea how I’d stay in touch with most people if it wasn’t for the wonder of Facebook.

39)Walking into a bookshop with a large amount of cash makes me happy. Walking out of a bookshop with no money and several kilos of purchases makes me even happier.

40)I hoard books. I don’t like using the library, as giving books back is depressing.

41)The only person I like to shop with is my Mum when we go to Lincoln Market. I get impatient waiting for other people to try on clothes before deciding they don’t actually want to buy any of them.

42)Is the meaning of life, the universe and everything. And also the age when you officially become closer to your 65th birthday than your 18th, which is a cheery thought.

43)I am a caffeine addict.

44)I’m a closeted sci-fi fan, unless I realise I’m among fellow geeks.

45)When in a hardcore reading mood, I can get through at least ten books a week.

46)I want to learn to drive so I can travel the world in a camper van.

47)The thought of learning to drive scares me.

48)I have seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show over one hundred times, meaning I can pretty much quote the whole thing. (On a night out. It was a night out they were going to remember for a very long time...)

49)I love long train journeys where I can just sit and stare out of the window and watch the world go by. Being a shortarse means I never have problems with legroom, so I’m perfectly comfortable.

50)Ditto with plane journeys, but they’re slightly less enjoyable. I know I’ll be stuck with any arseholes for the duration of the flight, at least on trains there’s the very realistic prospect they might get off at the next stop.

51)My cats are possibly the things I miss most from home. At least my family and friends are able to email or pick up the phone. How do you let a cat know you miss it?

52)I find getting new stamps in my passport probably far more exciting than I should.

53)I always tip.

54)I think the Southern constellations are a bit crap.

55)I used to be reasonably artistic, but the older I get, the more real life starts to interfere.

56)It seems to be physically impossible for me to keep my stuff tidy.

57)I’m long sighted, and supposed to wear glasses for reading or using the computer. I haven’t done so for about two years though, and am yet to notice any decrease in my eyesight.

58)Chick-lit novels are my porn. I know I shouldn’t read them, but I love them. Damn you Marian Keyes…

59)Sleep is one of my favourite things, though I rarely get enough of it as I’d like.

60)No matter how tired I am, my body clock is set to stay awake until at least 1am.

61)Early mornings will be the death of me.

62)Wetherspoons’ veggie burgers are one of the greatest things known to mankind, and something I deeply miss.

63)Personally, I find Grease to be completely overrated, and think it has an utterly horrible message.

64)Cheesy 90’s music from my childhood makes me happy.

65)I like being the centre of attention.

66)I think I’m always right.

67)This gets me into trouble a lot.

68)The greatest thing I’ve learned at uni is that any situation can be got out of by the fluttering of eyelashes and the ability to speak absolute bullshit.

69)I wish I could play the guitar, but I don’t have the patience to learn and suspect my hands are too small.

70)I go to church once a year on the 25th December just because I love Christmas hymns.

71)I can’t ride a bike.

72)I can’t spend too much time around the same person without getting annoyed and wanting to murder them. Friends are fine; they have their own homes to go to at the end of the day. This does, however, tend to make long-term relationships a bit of a problem.

73)Pub quizzes should be a viable way of earning money.

74)I want to keep my maiden name if I ever marry, just because I think it’s awesome. Double-barrelling isn’t an option as it’d be even more stupidly long than it already is.

75)I’ve never stayed in a hotel, only ever hostels.

76)One of my eyes is slightly lazy. The only time anybody other than the optician has noticed was when I was in hospital being checked for concussion. The junior doctor was slightly disappointed to discover I didn’t have any interesting maladies.

77)Unless they’re incredibly boring, I tend to listen to DVD commentaries.

78)I want to be famous just so I can go on Strictly Come Dancing.

Shrektacular

2008-04-17T20:13:00.000+10:00

I had a lecture and tutorial on Shrek today. I love Melbourne Uni. Nothing more to report on than that, I just wanted to gloat.

And (ok, two things), I’ve finally got round to uploading all my photos online. They can be found here. There aren’t any from April as I’ve spent the majority of my time at either uni, work, or places where photos aren’t going to be appreciated (ie comedy nights). Should have taken one to the restaurant the other week, but cleverly forgot.

Pompeii and Circumstance

2008-04-16T19:28:00.000+10:00

Wasn’t The Fires of Pompeii utterly fantastic? Loved it, hope to see more from James Moran in the not-so-distant future. Good characterisation, a nice twist in the plot, and some nice pontification about the nature of time travel, which is always appreciated on a Monday night.

Handed in my Gothic Fictions essay on Monday as well, which – without wanting to be completely arrogant – I think I’ve managed to do quite well on. Wrote it on The Monk, which is an utterly fantastic book and I loved, the result being that I actually quite enjoyed writing the essay itself. It ended up being completely different to what I originally imagined, getting Freudian isn’t exactly what I expected, but I suppose that’s the point of doing secondary readings – something to bounce off. It’s one of the best essays I’ve written in quite a while, and I hope my mark reflects that. Unless it was utterly rubbish, in which case I rather need to rethink my whole essay writing tactics.

On Sunday I hit some more comedy shows, which were (mostly) excellent. First was The Pilgrim’s Regress. The title was the best thing about it, and she played the piano well. The comedy was perhaps not so good. Still, it was a good way to pass an hour, and made me laugh a couple of times.

After that I headed down into the city to watch The Princess Cabaret, which turned out to be one of the highlights of the festival for me. Narrated by Tinkerbell, it was a look behind the scenes of the ‘happily-ever-after’ of Disney princesses. Comedy, feminism and taking the piss out of Disney: I’m in heaven. Plus, it again means I’m able to claim it as revision (this time for Medievalism in Contemporary culture). Anyway, very funny and used the cabaret conceit to its advantage. Great concepts too – Prince Charming being appalled at marrying a maid rather than the princess he expected, Snow White being a homicidal maniac,

Last thing of the night was If you can read this, my cape fell off. With a title like that, how could I not go? It was the one I was supposed to see on Saturday night but missed, so was very grateful to be able to finally see it. It was definitely worth it – who doesn’t love superheroes? Plus Bec Hill wanted to prove her superhero credentials, so made us all cheese on toast at the end of it. Comedy and free food – again a fantastic combination. And you know what? It really was awesome cheese on toast. In fact so awesome that I ate it despite having tomato paste on it. For me to eat tomatoes, something has to be good. Plus, I now know how to claim I’m a superhero. Just by being nice, it turns out, which is easily done. I was told lately I’m too nice, perhaps I should just swing the other way and be a supervillain. That looks like fun. But then I’d get all guilty and fret about what I’d done. Plus get my arse kicked quite spectacularly at the end of it all.

w00t!

2008-04-14T22:56:00.003+10:00

Am-I-Dumb.com - Intelligence Test

HumanForSale.com - I am for sale!

you are mediumvioletred
#C71585

Your dominant hues are red and magenta. You love doing your own thing and going on your own adventures, but there are close friends you know you just can't leave behind. You can influence others on days when you're patient, but most times you just want to go out, have fun, and do your own thing.

Your saturation level is high - you get into life and have a strong personality. Everyone you meet will either love you or hate you - either way, your goal is to get them to change the world with you. You are very hard working and don't have much patience for people without your initiative.

Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Bad times to write an essay.

2008-04-14T01:03:00.000+10:00

So, it’s 1am. Now technically the morning my essay is due in. I’ve been at the comedy festival all evening. Which was, incidentally, very good. I’m now back in my hostel room. Somebody has turned the lights off. I’m sitting here, in the dark, squinting at quotes from The Monk by the light of my laptop screen. Oh dear. And I’ve had beer tonight. Still, if anyone wakes up between now and 5am, they’ll think I’m a nutter. Hurrah! This could turn out to be a rather interesting experience.

Comic Timing

2008-04-13T22:10:00.000+10:00

This weekend is the last few days of the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and after the success of the past few nights I’ve spent there, I thought it might be worth heading down again and seeing what I could find. So, after work, I wandered down to Trades and bumped straight into a friend. And seeing as he’s so very nicely letting me invade his living room and watch Doctor Who for the next three months, I thought the least I could do was pay $12 to see his show. Called A Record or an OBE, it’s a play based on the concept of what would have happened to the Goodies had Bill Oddie left. Now considering I have never seen an episode of the Goodies, and my knowledge of them previously extended to the fact that they did the Funky Gibbon song, as well as the fact Bill Oddie was a member, and also possibly a bloke called Tim. Turns out the third one’s called Graeme. Or Graham, I’m still not entirely sure. Anyway, considering I didn’t really understand the context, or about half the jokes, it was still a really good show. Which is awesome, as it must be even better if you actually understand it.

After that we had beer (yay), and headed off to watch Richard McKenzie. The brilliant thing was, his show was based on The Rapture, with the Book of Revelations acted out in Lego. Lego automatically makes everything fun. Plus, I can claim it as revision for Backgrounds to English Lit, and don’t have to feel guilty about not spending the time concentrating on my essay. Best thing, it was free – it’s good having friends with performers’ passes. Ok, second best thing, God did make a surprise cameo at the end. Which is always entertaining, and doesn’t happen enough in life, in my opinion. Would liven up work no end if God popped along at the end of a shift. Though if it was a Saturday night at 4am, we’d probably all get sent straight to hell for not-so-politely telling him to go home because we want to close. Seriously though, why do idiots always show up at 3:55am, then complain when we won’t give them food and/or alcohol? The alcohol problem definitely isn’t our fault, we’re only licensed until 3, and shocking as it may seem, we actually have homes to go to in the wee small hours of the morning, we’re not staying open another half hour just because some drunken twat fancies a pizza.

Anyway, after the show I headed back to Trades Hall to watch Every Film Ever Made. Which was utterly hilarious. However, it was slightly ruined for me by the fact they overran by twenty minutes, meaning I missed the show I was supposed to see at 10:30. Other than that, it was fantastic. Funny and clever. Though why somebody thought it was an appropriate show to bring a small child to come and see, I don’t know. It wasn’t exactly the most family friendly thing. Though the reactions when they noticed the small child in the front row added to the amusement.

Tonight I’m heading back down to Trades to watch the show I missed last night, the box office very kindly let me transfer my ticket. Will probably hit a couple of other things too, make the most of the festival while it’s still here.

A Noble Cause

2008-04-10T14:22:00.000+10:00

I saw Ross Noble last night! It was wonderful. Two and a half hours of pure comedy cold. Except the last five minutes before the interval, as I had a dire need to pee, and laughing did not help matters. Other than that, fantastic. And the best thing is – we have the same trainers. I knew they were trainers of pure awesomeness when I bought them, and he obviously agrees with me. A very funny, very talented man though, was a great night. Totally worth the $35 as well, and the fact we were in the front row made it even better. Though he didn’t pick on us, which is part of the whole fun of sitting at the front. Probably for the best though, I’d have found some new and ingenious way of making myself look like a prick otherwise.

The bad thing about the night was the fact that one of my friends wasn’t able to come, which sucks. She was in hospital all of yesterday with a suspected stomach ulcer, so I’m hoping she gets better soon. Great timing though, as these things always seem to have.

Anyone for Tennis were great on Tuesday as well. The night in general was pretty good actually. We wandered down Lygon Street beforehand (making sure to avoid Café Trevi, naturally), had a curry, then went and watched the show. It had a really good concept as well.. When it started I had no idea what was going on, but it was a feat of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimeyness, and all made sense by the end. Plus their songs are hilarious. Anyone who can come up with a love song to a pizza is in my eyes a semi-demi-God. After that we tried to get tickets for another show, which sadly had sold out, so instead headed up to Brunetti’s and had coffee and cake, which again is always a fab thing.

Handed my tute paper in today, the one about David and Aeneas. Not entirely sure how I’ve done, waiting until after Ross Noble to start on the thing may not have been the best idea I’ve had. Still, I think it was ok, and made a reasonable amount of sense. That’s 25% of Backgrounds to English Lit done and dusted though, just 3,000 more words to write in June.

It's all bus trips and guidebooks and "don't drink the water"

2008-04-08T23:07:00.001+10:00

Doctor Who is back! Though it’s slightly odd to think that I left the UK less than a week after series three ended. Series four seemed aeons away, and here it is already. Doesn’t seem like I’ve been here for nine months, but it turns out I really have been. The time for going home ever approaches, which I’m trying not to think about. On the one hand, it’s going to be brilliant to head back to London and see everybody. On the other hand, I’m going to miss Melbourne – and Australia in fact – like crazy. And I have no idea when I’m likely to come back. Three years, at a guess. One year to finish uni, then probably two years to save up enough cash before buggering off round the world.

And Doctor Who was good! Brainless fluff, but still good. Though it’s only a matter of time before Adipose toys are made, which in my opinion is no bad thing. They’ll be rather cuddly. Plus, Donna was a lovely surprise. Wasn’t a fan of the character in The Runaway Bride, but this time round she’s pretty awesome. And I can ‘identify’ with her a lot more than I ever could with Martha or Rose constantly making doe-eyes at the Doctor. Though I’m not quite sure what it says about me that I seem to have more in common with a grumpy thirty-something than the two characters meant to be around my age. Oh well, I’m already fated to turn into Bridget Jones in ten years time, might as well add Donna Noble to the list. Besides, Bridget ended up with Mark Darcy, Donna gets to travel through the whole of time and space with a Time Lord who has the face of David Tennant – it might not be such a bad thing.

Off to the comedy festival tonight with someone from work, hoping it’s good. Going to see Anyone For Tennis, who were at the hostel comedy night a few weeks ago. Pretty funny then, so hopefully they’ll be just as good tonight.

I invented it in Camberwell and it looks like a carrot.

2008-04-06T19:37:00.000+10:00

After a typically dull day at work yesterday, I ended up going out to Camberwell for a friend’s birthday meal. Quite why we went all the way to Camberwell when Lygon Street’s right there, I’m still not entirely sure, but the restaurant was pretty cool. Well, I say pretty cool. It was an Italian restaurant, and I’ve seen enough of those to last an absolute lifetime, but trying to repress those memories and look at it through the eyes of any normal person, it was pretty good. The pizza was fantastic, ricotta and sun-dried tomatoes. Well, the tomatoes weren’t that great, but after picking those off, the pizza got a lot better. The three vegetarians ended up sharing food, so the other dish we got was some penne with pesto. Pretty much your bog-standard pesto, but still nice for all that.

Dessert time was the fun part of the evening. All of us (and there were about 15-20 people) ended up sharing cakes and gelati. The cake was gooooood. The thing I’m going to miss most about Melbourne is the abundance of bakeries making fantastic cakes. Chocolate is fantastic, I need to try and get free cake out of work more often.

I just wish I’d remembered to take my camera. And not had to go straight from work, as everyone else had really nice clothes on and I was just in my manky work gear.

So happy 20th birthday to Amy. You’re now halfway to 40 ;) Love you really.

So long, farewell, auf weidersein, adeiu

2008-04-03T22:39:00.000+11:00

3rd April

I did my presentation today for my Backgrounds tute. I think it went ok. Just stood at the front and free-associated for 10-15 minutes. Wasn’t too bad, and apparently I had some good points. Which is always nice to know, I didn’t end up making a complete fool of myself.

One of my friends moved out of the hostel this morning as well. Very sad, he’s buggered off to Adelaide, and the next time I see him will probably be back home in either England or Holland. Le sigh. We’d ended up in a bizarre little group of people, it’s not going to be the same with him gone. Who am I going to go and lust after AFL players with now?

Cold.

2008-04-01T13:10:00.002+11:00

It's apparently 20 degrees outside. I've been walking around in a jumper all day. I doubt I'm actually going to survive returning to the UK. I suspect I may develop hypothermia shortly after stepping off the plane.

Spring forward, fall...stay the same?

2008-03-31T22:46:00.002+11:00

Have done very little as of late. Back at uni, have a presentation due on Thursday. “Aeneas and the biblical David as ‘ideals’”, it’s very exciting so far. Still, get that out of the way and that’s 25% of the unit done and dusted. I need to do well this semester, try and average out at a H2B/2:1.

I’m currently trudging my way through The Mists of Avalon, which is needlessly long. Plus, not a great deal seems to actually happen. Which is fantastic in a book that’s over 1,000 pages long. Still, nearly done, thank god. Then I’ve just got The Fellowship of the Ring to get through and life will become a lot easier. Should be grateful it’s not the entire trilogy really, that would be a nightmare. Still, fairy tales this week – that’s always a lot of fun. Then Shrek. God, I love Melbourne Uni. Queen Mary would have a heart attack if I wanted to write an essay on Shrek.

Speaking of essays, I’ve been told I need to decide what to write my dissertation on next year. Need a proposal form in by the end of the academic year, which is an absolute bloody nightmare. Not a clue what I want to do, so it could be interesting. I need to decide my modules too. As the dissertation is a compulsory two unit block, that only leaves me with six choices. The course directory is helpfully vague, as ever. The advice given if you’re having a nervous breakdown over the prospect of a 10,000 word essay is to make an appointment with your advisor. Given that the prospect for me is somewhat trickier, I think I’ll just have to send several hundred emails trying to sort everything out. She’s gonna love me by the end of this, I just know it.

So, if anybody has any ideas for essays that are spectacularly intelligent-sounding, yet ridiculously easy to write and research, let me know. Please.

And the clocks have changed. In the UK, but not in Aus. Which now means there's a 10 hour difference until we put our clocks back an hour. No idea when that's happening, but I don't want the summer to end. It's going to get cold again. I suppose in a way it's good, will condition me for an English winter. That's not going to be fun.

!

2008-03-27T12:01:00.001+11:00

You Are An Exclamation Point

You are a bundle of... well, something.

You're often a bundle of joy, passion, or drama.

You're loud, brash, and outgoing. If you think it, you say it.

Definitely not the quiet type, you really don't keep a lot to yourself.

You're lively and inspiring. People love to be around your energy.

(But they do secretly worry that you'll spill their secrets without even realizing it.)

You excel in: Public speaking

You get along best with: the Dash

What Punctuation Mark Are You?